tookiecramer

happy birthdays...

2012-01-13T15:30:00.002-07:00

Da na na na na na, you say it's your birthday!
Da na na na na na, it's my birthday too yeah!

Literally.

It's that time of year in my house. It's insanity, but we survived.

Jacob is SEVEN...

Saren is THREE...

I am (gulp) THIRTY-SIX...

and Eddie is now FIVE...

In all the birthday preparation this year I discovered pre-packaged fondant, which allows even a hack like myself, to make some pretty cute cakes. This was a good thing as my kids were pretty specific about what kind of cake they had in mind.

Jacob wanted a Gryffindor Harry Potter cake. I stole the idea from this lady.

Saren wanted a "Jack Sparrow" cake. On a side note, I am hoping her obsession with grungy, disheveled, non-conformist men ends before her dating years. Anyway, I managed to talk her into pirate cupcakes...and ended up with these. She was happy.

And Saren is the type you don't want to disappoint...or you get this look.

Eddie, was inspired when he saw a cake my cute cousin Lindsey posted on Facebook. He was not going to settle for anything but an equally cool, Angry Birds cake. I'm not sure if I achieved one as professional as Lindsey's, but this is what I came up with.

I kept having to make more birds, because Eddie wanted "the bomb one" and "the little blue one". I had to explain to him I am not a Pixar animator, because he also wanted a score board to show him his points and one bird that could fly over the cake and drop an egg. Despite not having those elements, Eddie loved it! He even said, "This is awesome Mom! You're the best!". Mom SCORE!

The other birthday surprise was that we had lots of family show up to party. We rarely get a lot of company, so that was a lot of fun. The kids loved seeing their cousins and I loved the company.

By the way, in true Merril fashion, my Dad saw this last picture and said "Look! It's Lynda, Saren and Tom Selleck!" Pretty solid. It's been a fun two weeks. And now I can relax, kind of. I already told Dave, no theme cakes for his 40th in May.

my literary year in review...

2012-01-03T21:21:00.002-07:00

I read 47 books in 2011. Mainly thanks to my thoughtful husband who gave me a kindle for Christmas one year ago. I love me some kindle. It is amazing. I love being able to take EVERYTHING I am reading everywhere. I love being able to download a new book, when I'm in the mood for a certain kind of read, immediately and having access to a bazillion choices. It is so fun. As gratifying as reading is, you can never really quench your book thirst because there is an endless supply of more...and the kindle just makes that beautiful fact about literature all the more apparent.

One thing I have learned by using a kindle for reading is to not judge a book by it's cover...because I actually never see it's cover. It was a humiliating occasion when I come across a book I read via my kindle and found out the cover looked like this.

THE HORROR! I am a snob. I'm sure this isn't news to most of you. I would NEVER read this book! But I did, because I liked the books description, it was free to download, fairly well reviewed and it was classified as a "Historical Fiction". But, mostly, I read it because I never saw this awful cover. Notice the tiny stone building in the background...it's HISTORY people!

Although I can't say I loved it... (insert shameful pause)... "A Knight's Enchantment" was actually an enjoyable read with characters I liked and a goodish story line that wrapped up nicely. After a nerdy book like this, my snotty nature makes me seek after something gritty and intellectual and completely disturbing...which is why I read "Midnight Cowboy" by James Leo Herlihy. It was definitely a palette cleanser.

Anyway, after 47 books (and 5 still in my current reads folder)...these are my favorite from 2011, in no particular order.

Diary of the Displaced by Glynn James. This book was amazing. It was fast paced and surprising and just the right amount of confusing at times. I loved the main character, I loved the ending. I want to see the movie...someone make one.

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford. This is an actual historical fiction that gives you a glimpse of the lives of Japanese Americans during World War II. This story was BEAUTIFUL and tragic but satisfying because of the characters resilience and humanity. I think about this book all the time. I loved the dialogue - bare with an underlying complexity. Don't I sound smart now?

In this Hospitable Land by Brock Lynmar, Jr.. Another historical fiction about wealthy Jews who fled into France during World War II. This book made you think and feel without trying too hard. Lynmar's writing is never preachy, it never pushes you toward a certain conclusion. He just tells a story, about people who lived through extraordinary circumstances during an extraordinary time. Lovely.

A Cruel Harvest by Paul Reid. A love story that I loved but you cannot read this if you are one of my nieces.

A Game of Thrones: A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin. I admit I had to take a break from this book about halfway through. It was a little stressful, and long and has at least 100 characters to keep straight. Although, for me, the ending brought everything together and compelled me to read the next book in this series. Besides, I need something to talk about with my nerdy brother and brother-in-law.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett. The movie was well done and I really enjoyed it but please don't just see the movie. This is a great read, you will laugh and cry.

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. I will never forget this book! This is a true story about a young soldier who survived World War II against all odds that will amaze and inspire you. Side note, why do I read so many books about World War II? The only way I can tolerate reading about the horror and atrocities of war is to be equally amazed by the relentless pursuit of life by people who have had everything taken from them. This story makes you cheer for the human spirit and makes you feel you have the capacity to endure anything.

There they are...my favorites. What were yours?

goblin valley....

2011-10-28T16:07:00.002-06:00

We have a new Halloween tradition. Goblin Valley. What better spot for a day trip before the spooky holiday to enjoy the last little bit of nice weather and hiking for the year? This was my first time there and it was amazing. Next year, we will have to camp and stay a little longer.

The kids went bananas. They can run and climb and dig and jump and hide all day and never run out of new things to see. They loved it.

It was a beautiful day!

Here is a picture of me and Gene Simmons at Observation Point.

After a picnic lunch amongst the goblins, we on a little hike through Carmel Canyon that the kids loved. It gives you a good view of the "Three Hoodoos" formation and ends with a miniature slot canyon.

We ended the day in Green River where we picked out pumpkins for Halloween, stopped by the museum and I made a few awesome buys at the thrift store. Of course, we stopped for burgers at Ray's Tavern. You have to eat at Ray's...they have been on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, I think. And even if Guy Fieri hasn't been to Ray's to spazz over their cheeseburgers and fries, I still love the place. To cap off all the fun, Jacob opened the bathroom door for a stranger who wanted in while I was literally hovering and peeing for the entire Ray's dining area to see. It's been a while since I've been so devastatingly embarrassed. Good times.

Anyway, Goblin Valley is amazing and beautiful and it's a good, deserty place to go if you need a break from all the beautiful colored fall foliage along the Wasatch Front.

she is growing up...

2011-10-26T11:16:00.001-06:00

Baby Saren is growing up. It's such a cliche, but my little girl growing up is amazing and fun and heartbreaking and tragic all at the same time.

She used to be so tiny, with (it's hard to believe) just a little bit of beautiful black hair.

This week Saren had her first REAL haircut so we could brush through her beautiful hair with a few less tears.

She used to look up at me with those wide baby eyes full of wonder...

Now, she stares me down menacingly over the barrel of her shotgun. This may be my favorite picture EVER.

We used to need duct tape to keep Saren's diapers on her little body...

Now, we are done using duct tape, and Saren is done with diapers.

I love my little, sweet daughter. If anyone knows how to stop time or even slow it down, let me know.

the tiny, imaginary, dental being paid us a visit...

2011-10-14T16:16:00.000-06:00

Jacob lost his first tooth! It hung on by a thread for days before a bread stick finally finished the job. Jacob was so excited. I didn't want to yank it out myself, because I remember my Dad PROMISING that he just wanted to feel how loose MY tooth was and that he wasn't going to pull. But he did...and it hurt and my tooth still didn't come out. I've always remembered that. After that I couldn't trust Dad to wiggle my loose teeth ever again. So Jacob was on his own, as far as I was concerned.

Here he is right after it came out. He is so proud! I love that I can still see the breadcrumbs on his face!

After home work and just before bed, Jacob went upstairs to play. He set his tooth down for five seconds and, of course, Saren found it and threw it down the stairs. I heard Jacob scream, "No! My tooth!" but I assured him we would find it on the stairs and not to worry. After twenty minutes I started to worry. After an hour, I gave up! We decided Jacob would have to write the tooth fairy a letter. Jacob was a little bummed, and I overheard him telling his sister, "You're the meanest girl in my life!". Here is what Jacob came up with. The envelope instructions are the best part.

And the letter, concise and to the point..

The tooth fairy came and all was forgiven.

Our Jacob is so handsome and such a sweetheart. He is a good boy and I love this kid like crazy. It's hard to believe he is growing up so fast. I'm going to miss those beautiful, tiny teeth but at least I'll always have his grin.

math

2011-10-13T10:20:00.000-06:00

This four year old....

plus this...

plus Mom in the shower (sorry no picture)...

equals THIS!

As well as a lot of pain and a little wad of hair stuck in the drill. Eddie was upset that he got caught. I was a little sad for the reminder that it really isn't safe to shower anytime the kids are awake and Grandma lamented "He could have drilled a hole in his head!". That's probably a stretch but it was still a scare. His hair is already growing back, we dodged a bullet!

the dentist

2011-10-04T20:27:00.000-06:00

I just want to preface this post by saying I am NOT a junkie. Dave read this and was a little worried I seemed a little crazy. This post is just an attempt to give my dentist friends an idea of what it is like from the other side of the dissecting forceps.

I can smell the mask. It reminds me of rubber cement. I must look ridiculous but soon I won't care about that. Here it comes, in a few minutes I will no longer be here. I can't wait....Should I breathe deeper? Bring it on...Ok, gross I feel sick. I know that will go away. I hope I just fall asleep. Argh, the dentist. Why do I ever eat candy? Goodbye yellow light. Good bye cowboy wallpaper border. I'm closing my eyes now.

Background music softly playing...
Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash...you tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand is...

Dentist - "How do you feel about a rubber dam?"
Me - "Love em...". The less firmly planted in reality I can be, and the less I have to concentrate on bothersome tasks like caring where my tongue is and not tasting stuff, the better.
Dentist - "How about a mouth prop?"
Me - "Yes please, I will probably fall asleep". I explain this because I don't want the good doctor to take my general apathy to his conversation as over sedation, I am going to happily ease myself into a nitrous oxide induced nap. Why? I'm sitting down for more than five minutes, and I don't want to be around to hear what is going on in my mouth. For me, that means sleep. But don't turn down the gas because I am tired. That just means it's working.

I saw the sign! And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign. Life is demanding, without understanding. I saw the sign! And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign. No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong. But where do you belong?

Dentist...Blah blah blah "...Frightmares..."
Overly excited dental assistant - "I'm going this year!"
Dentist...Blah blah blah"...an old Vincent Price movie"
Teenage dental assistant "Who is that?"
Dentist..."Are you old enough to remember Vincent Price, Melissa?"
Me "ehhhhsssshhh" while nodding. No more questions please. I am checking out. If I close my eyes tighter will he know to stop talking to me? I hope he doesn't have to use the slow drill. That vibration makes me crazy...

Uptown, girl...You know I can't afford to buy her pearls, but maybe someday when my ship comes in, She'll understand the kind of guy I've been...and then I'll win.

Ignorant dental technician - "What IS the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek?"
Nerdy dentist - "Ha ha ha ha...That is a loaded question...blah blah blah...character development...blah blah blee... moral dilemna...blah blah blah...good verses evil...blah blah blah...the force....blah blah blah...really makes you think!".

Ain't Nobody gonna break a my stride...Nobody gonna slow me down. Oh no! I got to keep on moving!

Dentist, "Melissa, we are putting you on oxygen now. We're all done!".
Me, calmly "Awww Kay" but inside screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Anything but oxygen! I'll stay in this chair all day! It was just getting good"! If I breath deep I can get the last few drops of good stuff out of the tubing! Nope, that's just waking me up. Hello yellow light, hello cowboy wallpaper border. Hello giant headache.

Now my favorite part, trying to stop at the reception desk without crashing into it. Should I be driving yet? I "smile", if you can call it that, while the receptionist makes small talk and I pay my bill. Where is my Chapstick? I would murder someone for some Burt's Bees right about now. The receptionist asks if I would like to schedule my next check up now, but that's the last thing I want to think about so I tell her I'll call later. I can't wait to get home for Dave to make fun me, for some Ibuprofen and some dinner through a straw. Next time I get a babysitter I better be doing something fun.

John 3:16

2011-09-07T11:28:00.000-06:00

I love football! I love football season. I love football weather. I love football food. I love watching games on TV. I love going to football games even more. I love Utes Football! I grew up loving BYU football but don't judge me, I lived in Provo and it was the thing to do. And BYU was pretty awesome back in the day. I also loved Friday Night Lights and it is over. But that's another story.

I had to write a post about our own, Carbon High School Dino's. This poor team. They have lived through 3 seasons with one win. That's right. For TWO ENTIRE years, they never won. I attended many of these games. It was sad. Carbon rarely scored, they were beat up, they were a mess. Here is an example, a true example, but it gives you an idea of how things would usually go for the Dinos. One game, Carbon tried to go into halftime avoiding the other team scoring one more TD, after a particularly brutal 30 minutes of play, by taking a knee on the last play of their possession. They fumbled the snap, only to watch the opponent recover the ball and return it 65 yards for a touchdown with two seconds left on the clock. Seriously, it was gut wrenching to watch. The Carbon High Dino's actually made it on ESPN as the high school team in the nation with the longest losing streak! Ouch!

And then last year, a ray of hope....one ugly victory over Monticello. Maybe the momentum shifted, maybe it was the new coach, but the tides were turning.

Carbon opened up this season with a win over, you guessed it, Monticello. Yay! Dave and I were out of town but were excited to hear the news.

The next week, our little family of five was there to watch Carbon beat ALA. Whhhhaaaaattttt? 2-0! Good for Carbon. Carbon hadn't won two games in a row in the last 11 years!

Last weekend, Dave went to the game and I showed up late at halftime with the kids. As I walked toward the field, I glanced up at the scoreboard. Is that...?? No....!! Does it say...???....Could that say 30-something under Carbon??? Yes! Carbon was beating Ben Lomond 32 to 0! It was unheard of. I think that was more points than Carbon had scored in the last three seasons combined. How is this happening? It was amazing. They went on to win 42 to 2! And the best part, they actually looked good! They made some field goals, they scored their extra points! They made pass completions! They ran plays! They had good defensive stands. They played with heart. It is so fun to watch! Those boys deserve some success and I, for one, am so excited for them.

Carbon is now ranked 69th in the State of Utah and 7527th in the nation! We are moving up!

So, go CARBON! It's a little hard for me to wear blue to a football game these days but I will do it for the Dino's. I hope they have an awesome season!

preschool

2011-09-07T09:50:00.002-06:00

Preschool is back in session. As with all things involving Eddie, flexibility is key. He brushed past all his new school clothes in the closet and picked this polo shirt, explaining to me "Red is much better". It has something to do with Gryffindor, I think??? When I tried to give Eddie his new, bigger backpack, he said, "That's not my backpack!" and found his old one from last year. It's easier, with Eddie, to let him be the boss over the little things.

He "posed" in his typical perpetual motion fashion for a few shots by the front door...

And Eddie, kind of sweetly, asked to take a picture with me...

Saren, was not so agreeable, and made Eddie cry when she wouldn't stand next to him for a picture. That girl!

Eddie seemed a little nervous on the drive to school, but after hanging up his backpack and sitting down with the other kids to color, he said, "See ya!" without even looking up at me. I think he is going to be just fine.

first grader...

2011-08-24T07:38:00.004-06:00

summer recap...a really long one

2011-08-23T22:23:00.000-06:00

Today is the LAST day of summer vacation (this post took me longer to write than I thought). Let me start over, yesterday was the LAST day of summer vacation. Here is what we did, or at least, what I can remember of our lazy days of summer.

Soccer Camp... It was a great camp and Jacob was given the Respect Award. I cried a little over that because, if he can't respect me, at least has the love for some strangers from Europe. Eddie had a blast and still goes around the house repeating "Crabby, crabby...let's get snappy!" from his favorite camp game. Eddie refused to participate the last day of camp because of a bad hair day. Seriously, I tried for two hours to convince him his hair wasn't crazy. Eddie said, "I don't want my coach to see me like this!".

Baseball...Pee wee coach pitch and T-ball. Never has three innings lasted so long. The boys loved it! Eddie knows which hand the mitt goes on now, most of the time. He played an entire game with one hand on his boy parts, running the bases and all. The whole city was laughing at me. Saren is ready for her turn to play and earn a treat.

Lots of swimming...lessons, wave pool, helper pool, the pirate pool, the slip and slide in the backyard, the sprinklers, the lake. We swam everywhere. The laundry was epic.

Bear Lake...Family Reunion...Bingham style. There was lots of swearing, inappropriate humor and witty banter combined with football and volleyball on the beach, boating and eating ridiculously good food. It was fun! And apparently I have no pictures.

Scofield Reservoir...Fishing, friends, boating, pina colada Starbursts.

Idaho Falls...Stopped to see Uncle Lee and Aunt Elaine, the Idaho Falls Temple, play in the park and to see the Body World exhibit. It was worth the admission just to put a healthy fear of smoking in my kids heads'. I'm not sure they were ready for the crosscut penis dissection, but they seemed too oblivious to be traumatized.

Bear World...Where else can you see Grizzly bears in the.......wild? (Ok, more specifically in a sparsely vegetated parking lot with corrugated metal tubes for shelter). These days, Bear World is also home to carnival rides which are awesome. The cubs were adorable, the petting zoo was fun and watching people pay $25.00 to throw powdered donuts at some of God's most beautiful, powerful creatures broke my heart a little, just like last time.

Eddie and Saren kill me in this next one.

West Yellowstone, Montana...We stayed in this little cabin. I was too scared to jog for fear of being eaten by a bear. Saren helped us shop for food and Jacob slept with a rifle at night for protection.

Yellowstone National Park...What is the one vacation destination you do not want to forget your expensive DSLR Camera? Yellowstone. All these pictures courtesy of Dave's iPhone. Even our nice camera can't do this amazing place justice, it was so beautiful!

The Grizzly and Wolf Discovery Center... Jacob loved hiding food for the bears, and then watching them find it! It was a fun place for kids. Eddie peed in the playground before I could stop him. These are the things that stand out in my memory.

Here are a few of our great friends who made this trip so much fun.

(By the way, I'm not short, these ladies are all over 6 feet tall)!

Also happening this summer...

I tried unsuccessfully to potty train Saren...Here she is with her diaper duct taped in place when she refused to go in the potty or wear a diaper!

Jacob kissed a girl... and he liked it. This girl. I'm not writing this because I'm proud, just to document it for his future teasing. I heard him bragging about it to a friend, otherwise I'm not sure I ever would have known. They were watching "Princess and the Frog" at the time. Sorry Mark and Jill.

Grand Junction, Colorado...We visited some of our cute cousins, went on this cool hike and ate ice cream which Eddie famously described by saying "Too bad it's cold!"

The Living Planet Aquarium...This is fun, but remind me to wait until the real one is finished!

And also, please don't submit this photo to fail blog.

The Hogle Zoo...I can still smell the fun. Here are a couple of pics of us with animals that are not at all real.

Fishing...The boys both caught their first fish by themselves and quickly afterwards caught the fishing bug.

Lagoon...Which the kids call "Magoon" or "Da Goon". They loved it. I have pictures somewhere.

Going to a couple dozen playgrounds...

Play dates with lots of friends...

And riding a LOT of bikes. I know this because I parked them back in the garage several times a day for the last three months.

Dave and I are going to miss spending all our time with these three little maniacs.

He likes it! Hey Mikey!

2011-08-22T23:47:00.019-06:00

Congratulations to one of my four little brothers, Mike and to his new bride Andrea. They were married last weekend. They are a beautiful couple!

It was fun to get the kids dressed up...

And then cringe as they rolled and jumped around in puddles of rain water...

It was sweet to spy on cute little moments like this...

And smile at wedding traditions like this...

We laughed at this...

We tried take a new family picture, and then settled for this...

but later took this amazing picture...

And some silly pictures like these.

It's always nice to see how much my kids love their cousins...

And each other...

It makes me proud to show off this little love of mine...

Seeing Mikey so grown up made me affectionately remember this...

(Mikey, remember when you would come into my room me at night if you had a nightmare? You were my little buddy).

And being all together as a family made me fondly remember this...

(not our sweaters and my puffy adolescent face, but my family)!

And, of course, weddings always make me grateful for this day, and especially this guy.

It was a beautiful wedding. Congratulations Mike and Andrea. We love you guys!

adventures in adoption...

2011-07-10T00:12:00.009-06:00

This week, in an unexpected occurrence, we drove to pick up Jacob and Saren's birth mom, Maggie, and brought her to our home for several days while we figured out how to help her return to her family in California.

I'm not pretending that our relationship isn't challenging at times, or even a little overwhelming on occasion for me. But, like all things related to adoption, I try to focus on the blessings, which are what adoption is all about. And this is what I am thankful for about this week with Maggie.

Being reminded of all the beautiful traits, innate gestures, favorite foods and expressions she has passed on to my children.

Spending time with Roby, my kids beautiful Marshallese cousin, who is so handsome, sweet, confident, smart, fun, caring and who we all adore.

Confusing our friends at church who didn't even blink as we arrived with not TWO but THREE boys who are exactly 42" tall.

Sharing an awesome meal with Maggie and Roby, made by my parents, and learning how much they both love flat iron steak!

Watching our good friends and family welcome her with open arms, huge smiles and lots of genuine love! Thank you Mom and Dad, Jared, Kenny, Amber and Jill especially.

Seeing Saren bond with Maggie, say her name and smile into her eyes. I could tell Maggie loved every second of it.

Pitching to Maggie while she cranked softballs around the outfield at our local ballpark.

Sharing my iPod headphones with Maggie on a long car ride and jamming to the same tunes.

Maggie getting to see what a little athlete Jacob is, and watching her face take it all in as he played Pee Wee Baseball.

Freaking people out by publicly spending time with my children's birth mother. People just don't know what to say.

Playing kickball in our backyard with Maggie and good friends.

"Helping" Maggie to iron her hair straight.

Learning that Maggie LOVES the Lifetime network.

Things I did not love about this week, waiting for an hour in a HOT Greyhound Bus Stop while Eddie took pictures of homeless people and Saren picked up a strangers iPod.

I'm the first to admit that our family life is a little bit complicated at times, and I know open adoptions aren't for everyone or every situation. But, whenever I get stressed about if I am navigating this crazy situation in just the right way, I think about my children and what all of this means for them. And they seem to be thriving. Any small inconvenience, stress or challenge birth parents might present to my life and Dave's life are a tiny price to pay if those caring interactions between ALL their parents help my kids in even a small way. Any opportunity my children get, to learn how much they are loved, who they are and how amazing and divinely orchestrated their adoption was is, I hope, a chance to help them be more confident, more self-assured, and have more gratitude and faith.

And I do love Maggie, with all of my heart. As well as Jenny, Eddie's birth Mom. I want the most beautiful life for both of them, because that is what they have given me. A beautiful life with a beautiful family.

Tonight I am grateful to have Maggie and Roby safely home, to have my sweetie, Dave, who is the only guy I ever want around in a crisis, and to have my perfect babies sleeping in our home, dreaming of what they will break and pillage in the morning.

move over Gumby...

2011-07-09T23:19:00.003-06:00

This week, my four year old, Eddie managed to squeeze a little, plastic food basket onto himself in a painful backpack style. Also, this may be one of my favorite pictures ever.

He immediately came to me for help. And I did help him, after chasing him around the house with the camera for a few quick pictures while cracking up. This only annoyed him a little bit.

I cringed for five minutes while we struggled to free Eddie from his plastic slammer. I was sure his little shoulder was going to dislocate while I carefully tugged and twisted his arms in every direction, his scapulae sprayed out like a pterodactyl while he grunted and occasionally giggled.

We finally freed him, at which point Eddie thought seriously about putting the basket back on his body. I quickly distracted him with a snack.

As a footnote, I keep thinking how appropriate it is that Eddie is nicknamed Eddie Spaghetti. If you have ever had the pleasure to pick him up/sit him down or physically manipulate him in any way you know that this kid is very NOODLEY. Insanely flexible, floppy and strong at the same time. He is impossible.

Being four has not made Eddie any more calm. He CANNOT walk, he runs or jumps or rolls everywhere. And most likely, if he has to walk down the hallway at our home, he will hit the floor 20 times and knock into two or three walls before he makes it from point A to point B. I constantly wonder if we should make him wear a helmet. Last time we went swimming, the lifeguard actually went to rescue Eddie a few times, as he flailed about the water, when he was actually just standing and playing. But, Eddie is all over the place, and I can understand how he might look a little out of control to someone who wasn't his Mom. It's close to impossible to get a picture of this kid where he is not in perpetual motion.

When Eddie was a newborn, he made me feel like a rookie parent. Had I forgotten how to hold a baby? I wasn't sure, but I couldn't figure out how to hold this little guy. He was constantly pulling his head away from me and stiffening his little body. Later we found out he had painful reflux, and medications helped a little. But Eddie has always been impossible to contain. You cannot hold him without head butt to the chin. You cannot hug him without a forehead to the sternum, and you cannot walk past him without a getting poked in the eye by some flailing extremity. Dave and I used to talk about inventing a straight jacket for babies, and naming it "The Eddie". I think it could be huge.

I love this little maniac. When he figures out what to with all his crazy energy, he is going to take something by storm.

name fail...

2011-06-15T19:19:00.006-06:00

Last night, I had to laugh while watching "The Voice". In a random, but related thought, isn't it funny how Adam Levine has become more charming and even hotter and you don't mind him being such a player anymore, and Christina has just become alarmingly irritating! She grates on my nerves like I couldn't have fathomed. I look at her and all I see is cleavage, makeup and lots of nacho hair! Wow! Anyway, this post is not to rant about Adam or Christina or Cee Lo or even about Blake Shelton's adorable gray hair and self deprecating wit. This post is about....

"Javier Cologne"!

Last night I was laughing and telling Dave that Javier's name is so sexy sounding it must be made up, right..."Javier Cologne"! This is how Carson Daly pronounces the name, "Javier Cologne"! But when Javier's name appeared below him on the screen, I read that his name is actually "Javier COLON"! That's right, not "cologne", the French word that connotates masculinity, appeal and allure...but rather, COLON....as in COLONoscopy! As in COLON obstruction and COLON cleanse. A little ironic that cologne is also called "eau de toilette" or "toilet water" in this minor name debacle.

I know I am immature, but I found this hilarious! "Javier COLON" just doesn't have the same ring to it. I'm pretty sure you can legally change the spelling of your last name, and I just want to put it out there...Javier, just go ahead and DO IT. If you are going to call yourself "Mr. Cologne", make it legal. In the meantime, I will giggle every time your name appears on my TV and I hear someone try to make it sound sexy.

WARNING...annoying Mom blog (awesome stuff Eddie has been saying)

2011-06-09T14:04:00.005-06:00

Eddie is just too funny. It's hard to explain if you haven't lived with him, but I never know what is going to come out of his mouth. He is hilarious. Check out the "snorkel" he built for his bath the other night.

Other funny Eddie stuff...

Eddie in his whitey tighties..."I'm VERY naked right now".

I asked Eddie to find a frisbee and put it in the car as were heading out of town with our dog. He said "Mom, I'm not really good at finding frisbees....but YOU are!". His Daddy's son, I think so!

Eddie's new favorite expression, "I'm on it!". Me - "Who can pick up these bath toys?", Eddie -"I'm on it!" or "Dinners ready, come downstairs!" "I'm on it!".

Eddie's constant complaint about Price "It's too windy outside for kids!".

I overheard Eddie yelling at Saren the other day, "Hey! Nobody is supposed to grab anybody else's penises!". BTW, I had to google plural use of penis to figure out how to spell that.

We play a game, after bath time, where the boys crawl out of their bath towels pretending to be some kind of animal emerging from their cave. The other day, Jacob came out of his towel growling, and nodded when I asked if he was a bear. Then, Eddie making some crazy chirping noise starts to come out of his towel and I asked, "Is it another bear?" Eddie's response "No! I'm an evil sperm whale!". What?

My favorite start to a conversation with Eddie is his overused expression, "Mom...we talk?". He says this a lot, but the next sentence caught me off guard once. "I've been a little lonely". Awwww, funny and cute and sad all at the same time.

And, when writing a letter to his cousin Kyle, who is on an LDS Mission, Eddie only wanted to say..."Dear Kyle, Come home Kyle."! I don't think you are supposed to say that to missionaries.

graduation...

2011-06-05T17:52:00.007-06:00

"Summer break" was officially here two weeks ago when my kids finished Kindergarten and Preschool. Today was the first day all summer, with temperatures in the 80's, and as soon as we go swimming, I think Jacob will finally believe me that it's here.

During Kindergarten graduation, Jacob was adorable, sang like he meant it and smiled through his whole program!

The second the program was over, he ran up to me, gave me a big hug and said "Let's go!". He loved school, but loves playing even more. Miss Tawna has been an awesome teacher.

Jacob has been is speech therapy for 3 years now. He is learning so much and getting better all the time. Thanks to his wonderful therapists and aides who makes him feel so special.

Eddie was a little shy, but still managed to get his rock and roll on for his little Preschool Program.

The boys had a great year. I'm so thankful for their amazingly energetic teachers, who they loved. Miss Raquelle and Miss Kelly are about the cutest teachers I can imagine.

And I'll be thankful, most days, to have a little more time to be together without such a busy schedule. On the other days, I'll be hiding in the bathroom, trying to ignore three little sets of fists pounding on the door and asking me what I'm doing.

tis the season...

2011-05-19T14:07:00.005-06:00

I couldn't drag my feet any longer. It was time to cut Samson's hair. Eddie was not happy, in fact, he fought with all his four year old might to keep the scissors away. It took all my strength and patience to hold him down. He literally went ape s$#% through the entire ordeal. His Aunt Sherri couldn't have been sweeter, and somehow she got it done. Eddie can see now. He looks so handsome! The rest of the day, Eddie kept telling me, "Mom, I don't like my haircut!". But I think it is growing on him now that he doesn't have tangles every morning.

Before...
After...
Jacob was a champ, his haircut was a breeze and he loves it. Here are his before and after shots...

I'm not sure how I feel about him looking this grown up, but I'm pretty sure I can't stop it!

love this lady...

2011-05-19T13:22:00.004-06:00

This week we got a chance to visit Jacob and Saren's birth mom, Maggie. Isn't she beautiful? I love her so much! I see her so often in my kids....when Jacob makes his nervous face or grins his charming smile or when Saren nods her head cooly and says..."Yah" and every time I fix her beautiful, black hair.

This is our kids' adorable, look-a-like, Marshallese cousin, Robbie.

Thankful, is not an adequate enough word to explain how glad I am that God brought Maggie and my family together, almost seven years ago. I will never be able to tell her what a blessing her children are to our family. She made me a Mommy! Maggie, as well as Eddie's birth Mom, Jenny, are my sisters! I know God has great things in store for both of them because they have blessed my family in such an immeasurable way. I respect birth mothers in a profound manner. Birth Mothers are willing to suffer and have their hearts broken, so their children can have the best life they can give them. It is a true act of selflessness, which is what being a Mom is all about. Lots of love to you, Maggie and Jenny.

the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker...

2011-05-04T12:57:00.005-06:00

In an attempt to channel "The Hunger Games" Peeta, Dave is learning to bake bread. Just kidding, he doesn't know who Peeta is but the baker part is not lost on me. Maybe I should buy him a manly stenciling kit?

Normally, my Dave doesn't cook, bake, fry, saute, baste, boil, carve, stir, cut, chop, dice, simmer, sear or do anything that requires a culinary skill set. In the past Dave has occasionally grilled, but kind of badly. Since he got excited about this whole sour dough phenomenon, he has made nine loaves of bread! What is going on? And the sourdough loaves are getting progressively prettier and tastier. It is awesome! I knew there was a reason I looked cooking over baking. He is always surprising me. I was not, however, that he could only slightly hide his annoyance at me taking this photo.

what college did for me...

2011-04-29T10:12:00.008-06:00

My day is filled with all kinds of small battles. Little conflicts like making Saren think she chose her outfit when she is insisting on knee high boots with shorts in the winter, deciding when Eddie is skilled enough to brush his teeth without help even though he wants to do it himself and making sure Jacob has time to play after school but still gets his homework done.

And, of course, every Mom found themselves in the midst of the classic Mommy dilemma...pancake shapes. I am happy to make a pancake "J" or "E", a little pancake snake, or Mickey Mouse ears. But, one fateful morning, in my hurry to get breakfast done and my constant mental marathon of what task was next on my list, I made round pancakes. The horror! Eddie was beside himself, and the round pancakes finished off the rest of the batter. He was not happy. In a flash of pure Mommy geniusness, I told him the round pancakes were "Hot Wheels Tires"! He was so excited. That was two years ago.

This morning Eddie requested pancakes breakfast. When I slid the little round cakes onto his plate, he gasped and smiled..."Are those hot wheels pancakes?". It's sad that this makes me so proud and happy...but it does. I love it when I can be manipulative in a productive way.

murray dog...

2011-04-05T22:11:00.008-06:00

This is our Murray.

Looking back it seems like we Dave and I were just kids when he came into our life...

And we were...

Murray loved to swim after sticks...

He loved to wrestle Misha for the frisbee...

He loved wearing his own backpack...

And he loved us! At a time when we would have been lost without him.

Murray was with us on lots of adventures...

And Murray was there for our greatest adventure EVER!

Wishing him an eternity worth of beautiful fields to run through...And that he can always be as happy as he was today!

We love you Murray!

yes please...

2011-04-04T16:07:00.004-06:00

Why are these sooooo good? I can eat a dozen of these easily in a day. I can't go to the grocery store without buying another pack. I love them!

In my opinion, the big Cadbury Cream Eggs are a little vulgar for a few reasons...

1) way to much "stuff" inside

2) the tinfoil wrapper is never completely closed. Pay attention, you'll be bugged.

Don't get me wrong, if I had one sitting in front of me I would eat it immediately. Picture those "Biggest Loser" pre-ranch videos of people stuffing entire pies in their mouth in one bite. Yep, I would. However, I prefer the perfect, little, baby Cadbury Cream Eggs. I am getting fat just writing about them. Easter is the best candy holiday!

the terrible two's...

2011-03-31T09:00:00.000-06:00

Don't be fooled by this pose... It's been an epic month of naughtiness by this girl!

A few weeks ago she had an expensive week of destruction. She...

1) Poured one of these on my iPod touch.

2) Put a crack in this.

3) Pulled some keys off my laptop.

4) And, worst of all, the repairman called to tell us that the microwave she broke for the second time last month, cannot be repaired. Looks like I will be looking at this expanse of nothingness above my cooktop for a while.

lessons learned...

2011-03-30T02:30:00.009-06:00

Tonight, I put the kids to bed and felt ambitious enough (OK disgusted enough) to clean out the pantry. I was sorting through my piles of cookbooks and came across this.

I'm not sure how this book made it into our new home without me unpacking it, but I swear I haven't seen it for years. Holding this book I owned in a previous life brought back so many feelings, I just couldn't go to sleep without some catharsis.

I don't have anything against Fern Reiss. She is some kind of expert in nutrition and how it relates to fertility. But, years ago (when I cared about this kind of thing), it only took me three recipes and one chapter before I realized her book was exactly what I did NOT need to be reading.

When you are trying to get pregnant or trying to stay pregnant, it's so easy to fall into the trap of "I should have done this..." and "I shouldn't have done that"! It seems trite, but in the moment you actually think "I knew that bath was too hot", or "I forgot my prenatal vitamin that one night" or "I was too stressed out" or "I've been working too hard". And even more self destructive, "What life lesson have I not learned?" or "What spiritual gift have I not acquired?".

These topics are not covered in detail in "The Infertility Diet: Get Pregnant and Prevent Miscarriage". But the sheer volume of foods to eat and foods not to eat and in what quantities and which trimester would require years of indoctrination to remember and actually apply to real life. And learning the diet is just the tip of the guilt iceberg! Do I really want to worry about whether those gingersnaps I ate in my 4th week caused my pregnancy to fail, or that if only I would have sucked on more raw garlic and eaten more yams and almonds, I might have made it further along? Do I really want to bother to take 1 tsp of Robitussin three times a day on days 5-9 of my menstrual cycle to thin my cervical fluid? Do I actually want to turn off my night lights and alarm clocks (as one study has linked artificial night illumination to miscarriage)! Honestly? And do I really want to make my husband do the "Infertility Diet" with me? No I say! The poor husbands of hormonal, baby hungry, infertile, crying women have enough to deal with! I remember reading this marathon of instructions and wondering when Ashton Kutcher was going to jump through a door of my house, laughing and pointing cameras in my direction. I would, of course, upon seeing Ashton, spurt off a stream of vulgar obscenities, and eventually laugh and admit to the world how much smarter Ashton Kutcher is than the rest of us, for getting me to believe such nonsense was real. The Ashton reference might be an unnecessary sidebar on fertility, but seriously, this is what we are telling the women of the world who are dealing with this profoundly difficult personal tragedy! This is the best we can do!

Never mind, that I inject Heparin into my belly twice a day. Never mind that I am seeing one of the best Recurrent Miscarriage Specialists in the world. Never mind that I have a healthy weight, and eat right, and take care of myself. Never mind that I have a loving a supportive husband and family, and a Heavenly Father who loves me personally and is aware of my struggles. It must be that I had some Gouda cheese (which is forbidden), and ate too little alfalfa to have a baby!

The book argues that the empowerment offered by taking an active role in fertility challenges through nutrition might actually improve fertility. I would argue that, the small number of women whose fertility might benefit from drastic nutritional changes, is greatly outweighed by the near certainty of placing unwarranted culpability in the hands of women whose lives are on a path they did not expect, and who can do very little if anything, to change that path.

It's not that this subject is one that keeps me awake at night these days. I came to accept, a long time ago, that God had a different plan for my family and my life, than I realized. I would never change ANYTHING in my history, even with all it's gynecological garbage, because it led to the greatest blessings of my life. I am a mother of three, beautiful adopted children who were meant to be mine. I am beyond blessed.

It's just that, even though (thankfully) I am on the other side of that journey, I remember. I remember what it's like to feel that your dream will never be realized, and wishing there was something you could do, or say, or read, or try, or eat or think that would change things. And there usually ISN'T. The only thing you can control in your life is how you respond to the challenges, difficulties, surprises, blessings, heartaches, joys, people and circumstances that come your way. That is it! It's hard to be patient in the middle of a life consuming struggle, but what other choice do we have? It takes faith to admit that sometimes, although we are doing all we can, we still can't change our circumstances. Sometimes, we have to trust in God's plan for us and ride out the storm with as much grace as we can muster. I wish I could go back and tell my twenty-something year old self that! I could have saved myself from a lot of drama, and saved Dave from many gray hairs and sleepless nights.

Look at me, getting older and wiser too.

Annie's shower...

2011-03-22T16:17:00.005-06:00

Last weekend Dave's baby sister, Annie, had her bridal shower! Does anyone know why is it called a shower? I don't know. I wonder what my kids thought when they heard me talk about our plans for Annie's upcoming shower?

Merrilyn was sooo missed but she was there in spirit and in frame. The little sign says "Maid of Honor"!

We had awesome food...

Good friends...

Lots of family...

And Annie's soon to be family...

Beautiful decorations...

Fun games...

Several awkward stories about Sheri's lingerie use over-the-years...

that the nieces could have gone without.

And a yummy candy buffet!

Thanks to my go-to-gal-for-all-things-crafty, Lynette, for your help with these cute, little bags.

By the way, I have tons of left over candy. It is not kosher to have 10 pounds of gummy sweets and chocolate in my pantry. My kids have gone bananas on the Hershey kisses. I can barely see the carpet in our playroom under all the shredded silver wrappings. Stop by if you want some.

It was a lot of fun and everybody is so excited for Annie and Ryan's Wedding next month. On to the next party!

epicness

2011-02-15T13:13:00.011-07:00

This weekend was C-R-A-Z-Y! We were delayed leaving town by a little vomiting on Jacob's part, but we were able to be with our family for most everything. A lot of stuff happened. A lot of cool stuff...

We finally got to see Merrilyn who is safely home from Afghanistan, and is as beautiful, fun and dirty as ever.

This beautiful niece was in Les Miserable at Woods Cross High.

And two cute nephews celebrated birthdays (Zach and Cody). Not the crazy twins from Disney's "Sweet Life", but just as cute.

Dave's Mom and Dad celebrated their 48th Anniversary.

Kyle went to the temple and spoke in church about his upcoming mission. He did awesome. Saren is now permanently attached around his neck like a little koala bear. She loves him!

We came home from church and ate delicious food and brownie husbands (made by Merriann).

PS: If you don't know what a brownie husband is....you need to watch this!

And last, but not least, and probably most shocking....Annie and Ryan got engaged! In my family room! It was so fun for lots of the family to be there. Who was the genius that set these two up a few years back? Oh yeah, it was me! We love him and Annie so much! Awwww! So exciting!

I love my Mom and bob...

2011-02-14T14:43:00.000-07:00

Look at my cute Valentine from Jacob. I love how he labeled Dave and I "Mom" and "David Nelson". So funny. I guess we need to work on "b's" and "d's". Best Valentine EVER.

Also, check out the close up of Dave's hair. A pretty good likeness.

my shame pants

2011-01-18T15:58:00.004-07:00

I love "The Bachelor". Not the bachelor, bachelor (He's cute but kind of walks like a muscly gorilla) - but the show. It is such a mess. The people are a little slice of inhumanity (evidenced by vampire girl who went home this week). I love it. Every week, I sit down with Dave and Kyle, and we happily lap up the shame. This week I text Kyle (who was in the basement but seriously, who wants to walk downstairs) "Bachelor time...!" and he text back "Oh yeeeahhhh!".

I get embarrassed, I mean, really embarrassed at times while watching "The Bachelor". This happens whether I am in a big group or by myself. I have to hide my face for moments on the Bachelor like...

Singing of any kind

Poetry of any kind

Cat fights

Fantasy Suite moments

Crying

Limousine confessions

All "After the Final Rose" episodes

So basically, I spend a lot of time with a blanket wrapped around my face. I will also hide under my afghan completely, and watch the show through one of the little holes. I honestly can't watch reality TV without some kind of burka in place. I know God still knows how I am spending my time, but it makes me feel better.

Last night, I found myself embarrassed (karaoke to Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" anyone?). No blanket was available, but I had just done some laundry and had a clean pair of scrub bottoms on the top of the basket. The scrub pants worked well wrapped around my head, leaving only my eyes exposed. I removed them when things were mellow, then quickly reached for my shame pants whenever "Michelle" from Utah opened her mouth.

I have heard of a couple who only watched reality TV with laser pointers in hand. I think this would be a great option for Dave and I. No need to pause the show to discuss someones eye rolling...just laser circle around the eyes a few times with your mouth wide open, is there really a need to say more?

give me a "P"!

2011-01-18T15:37:00.004-07:00

I am so overjoyed right now, someone hold me! My awesome husband replaced my laptop keyboard, and I am happy to say that I can now type the letter "P". No more google searches for "O", which invariably result in "Oprah" which I obviously use to highlight the "p" and copy the "p" which I can then paste into sentences so that I can write words like "happy" and "please" and "pawn" and "puke" and "proud" and "poppy" and "pharynx" (not all in the same sentence). Thank you Dave. Best $20.00 you ever spent.

how I can argue with that...

2011-01-08T10:54:00.006-07:00

Yesterday Eddie slopped some oatmeal on his T-shirt during breakfast. He immediately asked for a new shirt, which I didn't want to give him seeing as how breakfast had only just started and he was bound to drip some more food on himself. I tried to talk him out of it, but he got more and more adamant, carefully showing me the drips. I told him we would put a clean shirt on as soon as he was done eating. Eddie growled at me and yelled, "Mom! I can't be the kid with the messy shirt!".

This is why Eddie is so hilarious, exhausting, cute and infuriating. He will eat jello like this...

...and then cry when he has sticky fingers and dirty clothes. What can I do except lots and lots of laundry?

PS: Isn't Cody cute?

calling all freaks...

2011-01-06T14:11:00.007-07:00

This makes me happy.

OK, to be honest, the slight tilting of the container on the top left hand side bugs me a little bit. I know it is annoying, and maybe even a little pretentious. But nicely labeled, matching containers make me smile. I can't pretend to be organized all of the time. There are drawers in my house that have been rifled through by Saren to the point that I can no longer close them. But when I have time to organize one little corner of my world, I am elated.

There is probably a special place in hell reserved for freaks like myself. A closet, perhaps, full of different colors of plastic hangers with...(I shudder) wire hangers in the mix. I can imagine them haphazardly facing in different directions. With cans of food in staggered rows on the shelves, labels not aligned and the tomato soup perilously close to the crushed pineapple. I will take my punishment in hades, if needed, to have a little systematic order today.

For years, my family has mocked me for a plastic container in my bathroom labeled "Fertility/Q-tips". It's not that the two items went together. But my stack of ovulation test kits and pregnancy tests just fit so nicely on either side of a Q-tip box! And, hey, I always knew where to find them. Even, Dave, who never fails to amaze me at the things he CANNOT locate in his own home, can occasionally find what he is looking for with my label maker/plastic shoebox system. I mean, couldn't a monkey find the Betadine if it were stacked neatly in a clear container with a label reading "First Aid/Betadine"?

So, even though my car smells like a roasted diaper, and the cupboard under the bathroom sink is a booby trap (don't open it), my Christmas decorations are immaculately put away! I can sleep tonight!

Merry Christmas Eve!

2011-01-05T20:16:00.014-07:00

I know New Years is over, but let's pretend I have it together, and it's December 26th. Besides, I have to get this posted, to make way for the upcoming birthday blog bonanza.

Christmas was a blur of complete mayhem, fun with family and, thankfully, a few moments of peace and and love for this season mixed in as well. Christmas break was fun and Eddie loved having Jacob around all day!

My kids love the obligatory, new Christmas PJ's picture in front of the tree. It's a tradition in our home.

As long as I don't take too many...

A few days before Santa came, the kids helped me sort out and load up the car with some toys they don't use as much these days for the Children's Justice Center. Jacob kept killing me by referring to it as the "Justice Fun Center" (which is actually a really awesome name). They helped unload everything when we got there, and I hope it helped them appreciate what they have a little bit. Eddie said, "Hey...not my dinosaur shirt....AAwwwww...Ok they can have it." at one point. I wanted it to hurt a little. Jacob doesn't look at all unhappy about giving some toys away.

We had an early Christmas Eve with Grandma and Grandpa Bingham, and the kids were spoiled as usual. I love this shot of Saren's toddler body!

Richard and Beccy were way excited to be in Price.

Saren got into opening presents.

Jacob went bananas.

And Eddie, true to character, hid under the nearest leather jacket.

The boys got some Lego's from Grandma which were a huge hit. Eddie got sick of me taking so long to put his Toy Story set together but he loved when it was complete.

Isn't he so, so CUTE!

Jacob had some Lego anxiety but pushed through it.

Apparently, Richard drank some milk...

And then snapped a photo of his twin sister's arse. OK, Saren's toe in the pocket IS cute and photo worthy, but still, a little weird.

Before bed we read the Christmas Story, and Jacob and Saren acted out a little nativity scene while Eddie hid under the nearest table.

I love being a Mom so much. I have cried lots of times this Christmas out of happiness that Dave and I have these three little sweethearts to share it with. Sorry to end a sentence with a preposition but sometimes it just works.

called to serve...

2010-12-23T20:49:00.006-07:00

Our not-so-little nephew, Kyle, who has been living with us for the past year or so....is going on a mission. His call came in the mail yesterday, and it was so exciting!

He waited all day, without opening it, for his family to be with him.

He is off too....drum roll please...

The Germany Berlin Mission!

Wow!

He was sure he was going state side because of the lower postage on the envelope. Ha!

I've never seen Steve so nervous...

Proud parents...

Calling Grandma and Grandpa...

We love him like the caucasian son who looks like Dave we never had. Our kids are going to miss him so much! He is such a good, big cousin to them. Jacob had guessed Kyle was headed to Japan and Eddie said..."how bout the wave pool?". They were both wrong. We are definitely proud of him...he will be a great missionary. Congratulations Kyle!

in loving memory...

2010-12-21T00:43:00.006-07:00

I couldn't let anymore time pass without a post in memory of my amazing Grandmother, Zelma (yes Zelma) Ann Lewis Pendleton. I love this lady! She died at the tender age of 97, and left her unmistakable impression on the world, and on me. I loved her BRUTAL honesty, her smiles, her raised eyebrows and her praise. As a child, she had a way of making me feel like the most beautiful, sweet, wonderful girl in the world. And as an adult, she assured me that I was the best Mom she had ever seen, and when she said it...I could believe it! At least for a minute or two. I don't know how so much love and concern could exist in one person, for so many people, but with Grandma, it did. Everything she ever did, said or wrote (she was known to write a scolding letter or two) was motivated by a HUGE love for her family. She was unconditionally loyal and unapologetic in her belief in those she loved. She knew what we are all capable of, and she expected everyone she loved to live up to that potential. She was a true matriarch to so many.

Grandma loved being alive. She looked for beauty all her life...and was never complacent or ungrateful when she found it. She found joy in people, in the outdoors, in cooking, in friends, in music, in sports, in laughing, in traveling, in her husband, in serving her family and in so many small things. She really cherished her life and lived it to the fullest. What a lesson she taught me through the way she approached her life.

Grandma loved to fish. She had a current fishing license that will expire months after she did. That is so typical of her, being ready to die...but not about to sit around and wait for it!

Grandma was a beautiful, graceful lady who carried herself with elegance and with pride. She was always groomed immaculately, standing with perfect posture, and a presence that couldn't be discounted but was still welcoming and kind. She expected strangers to prove themselves to her, and once they did...she was their fiercest friend. I admire her strength. She never changed, not for anyone. She was genuine and unabashed about who she was and what she believed. I always knew how much she loved me.

My two, sweet Grandma's knew each other as young girls. They used to walk home from school together in Kindergarten and loved each other. Somehow they ended up back in the same small town, later in their life, as young mothers. Somehow what started out as joking "What if my Lynda dated your son"...and so on and so on turned into my parents getting married. Somehow, they remained friends with shared grandchildren. And somehow, they both lost their husbands, later in life and remained close to one another. Somehow, they ended up with the same hospice nurse, who would pass messages between the two of them...like school mates again. And somehow, they died within several weeks of one another, both with huge reunions waiting for them on the other side. How I was so blessed to have the heritage I have, I will never understand. But, I find myself increasingly thankful for these women and how their lives have formed mine. It is truly humbling to think of these beautiful ladies. I love you Grandma P!

hoping this has arrived in Afghanistan...

2010-12-20T19:45:00.004-07:00

Love you Merrilyn....miss you!

why I don't watch commercials...

2010-12-18T08:30:00.003-07:00

Today Eddie saw a commercial for this... and said "Oh wow! I need to get one of those so I can get bigger! You wanna get bigger Mom?". Not like that.

thoughts on being a mommy

2010-12-13T03:48:00.008-07:00

Tonight, I lied in bed...listening to the sound of tiny bubbles burst in a sippy cup as my baby girl drank her last bit of milk for the day. I watched her tiny chest rise and fall, and felt her mean, scratchy fingernails wriggle around my arm as she calmed herself. I smelled her baby lotion and her freshly shampooed hair. I felt her warm exhale on my cheek as she huddled in close. I listened as her tiny, sweet voice mumbled herself off to sleep. I stared at her tight, rosy cheeks and those long black lashes. I drank it in and sighed. One day, I will blink, and she will be grown.

What am I going to do when I don't have her on my hip as I walk around home, trying to get things done with one hand? When Eddie doesn't need my reassuring hugs, or try to rub noses with me? When I don't hear his squeaky whines and whimpers and sighs throughout the house? When I can't tickle Jacob awake every morning, and watch that always present grin creep onto his face for another day? When I can't welcome him home from school with a big hug, and feel our whole home brighten with his return?

This is it. This, right now...is the best part of life. This is my life's greatest honor and reward.

Someday my house will stay clean, I won't make 7 meals a day. There will be no fingerprints on my cupboards and doors. The books will stay in the bookshelf. The toilet paper will stay on the roll. I'll sleep through the night without interruption, I'll read books in quiet solitude. I'll answer the phone and have a nice conversation. I'll make plans to run errands and maybe see a movie. I'll pay the bills and file things neatly away. I'll listen to music I like, or watch a TV show for me. And I will MISS this...more than anything. I'll wish for THIS back, more than anything. And I'll long for the sound of their cries and giggles, the messy evidence of their existence and the bountiful, overwhelming chaos that is my life today.

Eddie-isms

2010-11-22T23:27:00.005-07:00

Eddie became upset when I switched up his usual routine while helping him to get dressed. He REALLY did not like having his socks put on before his pants.

"No! This is not right Mom! Socks don't live in pants!"

Along a similar vein, today Eddie took off all his clothes after getting his sleeves wet in the sink. When I discovered him naked, I tried to persuade him to follow me into his room to get some undies and get ready for bed. Apparently, all he heard was the bed part...and he got really mad.

"MOM! Bums can't just go in the bed!".

I can't say I disagree with that.

all about me...

2010-11-17T11:13:00.005-07:00

Remember these....?

I think most Utah Mormons between the ages of 39 and 19 have one of these books from their childhood. Some are probably not finished, some like mine and much to my horror, are completely filled out, check mark descriptions of myself included.

I read this book and found my entries... (imagine check marks by each)

Hilarious
Embarrassing
Uninspired
Dramatic
Supremely nerdy

Some things I noted in my book were as follows...

My favorite item of clothing was my Esprit green outfit.
My favorite book was "13 is Too Young to Die".
My favorite movie star was Michael J. Fox (I called him Mikey in the entry).
I was scared of murderers with stabbing knives.
I listed Spanish Fork under places I had visited.
Sometime in my life I hoped to.... "discover a cute, little creature". Gremlins anyone?
My favorite thing about being 9 was that 9 year old kids are "really cool".
By age 10, I was really sick of babysitting.
The one thing I wished I could change about my schedule was my paper route.
February 28th 1987 was the WORST day of my life. I have no idea why.
March 11th, 1987 was the BEST day of my life because Scott Ingrim invited me to ride bikes to the "Minute Man". (At least I rebounded quickly).
I once weighed 75-80 pounds.

A funny entry in my journal occurred when I described the death of my, as I called it, "darling" calico fish I unimaginatively named "Cally". The twins had gotten into the fish bowl while I was wasn't home and I returned home to a foggy bowl of water and a floating fish. And I quote, "This morning I called it a dumb fish for no particular reason. Now it is dead"!

At the time, my nice, big brother Jared, got a straw and blew bubbles into the water for five minutes trying to revive the fish. A fact that makes me feel guilty for describing Jared somewhere else in the book as having "weird teeth". But my fish was dead, and I dramatically flushed it down the toilet while crying and yelling "No...No....No!". All along my entry were areas where I had circled wet marks on the page and written "Tear" with arrows indicating where I had cried into the journal. Life was rough, back then.

Among other things, this entry got me thinking as to what would be a legitimate reason to call a pet fish a "dumb" one. Maybe, if it kept swimming into the walls of the bowl, or if it incessantly swam around with one of those attached pooh strings that just won't seem to fall away. Thoughts ???.

Basic lesson of my "All about Me" journey, I've changed. I'm glad I have a little more perspective now, and that life isn't such a roller coaster of self pity. I'm sorry to say I have yet to discover any adorable creatures, but I have visited a few more places. In interesting contrast to my "Cally" entry, I have an appointment at the Vet's office for Murray tomorrow to discuss whether or not it is humane to euthanize a dog for being "old and grumpy". In summary, I have evolved in the last 24 years, for better or worse.

the big bad world...

2010-11-05T14:43:00.006-06:00

This week Jacob had an incident at school where he was "choked". I did the whole Mom-freak-out thing for a minute, but I could see that Jacob was OK and that he and the boy who he had been fighting with friendly with each other, so I tried not to worry too much. Jacob told me the boy who had choked him had gone to the Principal's office. Jacob also explained that he had been given a "golden ticket". When I asked him what the golden ticket was for he said, "I don't know, for being brave I think".

I knew Dave would do plenty of overreacting for the both of us, and I was right. Daddy panic began and phrases like "guarantee my child's safety" "expel that little..." and "plan of action" were thrown around, but Dave felt better (better about the incident....much worse about our educational system in general) after having lunch at the school a few days later.

I'm not trying to make light of a sketchily violent situation on the playground, but Jacob has been hilarious about the whole thing.

Names have been changed for the protection of those whose parents are screwing them up.

The next day, when Jacob came home from school, I met him at the bus stop and asked him how his day was...

"Good! Lamar didn't choke me or ANYTHING!" Well that was good.

The same day Jacob also brought home this assignment, which was beyond funny and a little sad too. Note the last sentence he wrote by himself.

Boo yah!

2010-11-02T16:57:00.011-06:00

It is with shock and a little relief that I realize November is here. Where has the time gone? Halloween is a BUSY week with little ones and I am glad to say we survived all the maddness...and parties. What other time of year do I get to wash the same items seventeen times in one week?

As far as costume occassions go, my family had two school parties, a play group party, a trunk or treat, Dad's work party and, of course, trick or treating. It seems to be a given that if the kids have any item of clothing on for more than 10 minutes, it is going to need to be washed. So that was how I spent much of the holiday, but it is worth all the trouble to see the kids have so much fun.

This is how we partied at our house...

Jacob the VIKING...

A last minute change from "Ghostbuster" which relieved me because I didn't want the judgement that comes with people knowing he has seen that movie.

Eddie the MINJA...OK Ninja but it is so much cuter when he says it.

Saren the Ute Cheerleader...

or the monkey (depending on how cold it is outside).

She was pretty cute chasing her own tail.

David as JULIUS CEASAR... (he bailed on me).

Me the lonely CHILEAN MINER!

When Eddie saw me in my costume before our ward party he said,

"Mom you can't wear THAT!"
"Why?"

"Somebody will see you!"

I hate to tell him, I just don't care anymore. But I was sure to look as girly as possible on Sunday so people could rid their minds of me with a mustache.

Look at all these pumpkins! Our family is growing thanks to Kyle and Camila and Annie...every weekend is a party.

We had fun with the pumpkins, pigging out on yummy food, and trick or treating in the rain. Eddie couldn't stop smiling and kept telling everyone, "It keeps raining on me!" while laughing. And Saren learned how to say "Thank you" just in time for frickin' treating and she was so cute charming all the neighbors with her little voice.

Since Halloween, Saren has eaten an unholy amount of candy! Honestly! I keep thinking I have everything hidden high in the pantry but she brings me a Kit Kat or a Twix from some secret baby stash every ten minutes throughout the day. Saren has this cute little candy dance that kills me. I give in. I don't know how she is functioning on all the glucose. Here is Saren after demolishing the last of the cupcakes (PS: black frosting is an evil confection).

Happy Halloween everybody!

"...I don't buy green bananas anymore!"

2010-10-11T20:59:00.005-06:00

Today was a celebration for the life of this beautiful lady!

Laura Louise Finch Bingham, my very sweet grandmother, who finally got to go home to her Heavenly Father after a 96 year long "buggy ride" on earth. Her funeral was a beautiful tribute to her life, her humor, her wit, her enthusiasm and her love of life and her family. I loved hearing memories of her today, and I even learned a few things that, somehow, I had never been told.

To me, she will always be Grandma...to Eddie, "Grandma Grape", but she was so much more. A daughter, a sister, a student, a lover of dancing, a doting aunt, a caretaker, a wife of a farmer, a hard worker, a crack-up, a mother, a friend, a servant of God and of others.

It's not very often you get to hear the word "sh%$" from the pulpit, but it was an appropriate memory shared between many of her grandchildren. I know Grandma would have loved to see the bishop squirm in his chair as much as I did. Somehow when Grandma called you a "cute, little sh%$!", it sounded as endearing as anything else she could say. I need to learn that trick.

I am so thankful to my sweet Aunt Nancy, Uncle Mike and my cousins who have taken care of her with such love and gentleness. I could never tell them thank you enough.

Grandma said she felt like the last leaf on the tree, and the wind was blowing. I am so thankful that she is at rest and happily reunited with her husband, parents, brother, sisters and friends that have waited for her anxiously for all these years. Grandma endured her old age with the grace, charm, tenderness, affection and gratitude that most of us are lacking in our prime. It's an honor to be her grand daughter, and to belong to her legacy in some small way. I hope that someday she will be as proud of me, as I am of her. Love you Grandma!

eddie is in preschool...

2010-09-14T11:20:00.011-06:00

Eddie has been waiting a long time for his turn to go to school. By the end of the last school year, it was torture for Eddie to come home with me after dropped Jacob off each day. He is going to love being a preschooler and his class and teachers are going to LOVE him. I can't wait to hear the crazy stuff he tells everyone, because he is cracking me up all the time, and I'm sure he will do the same at school.

Eddie was excited for his first day but not overly so. I tried to talk him into a haircut and he said "I don't need a haircut Mom, it gonna be just fine...don't worry!" So I left his hair alone.

Like most attempts at taking a picture of Eddie, I ended up with lots of awkward poses...

(Showing off his "robot teeth")

Lots of shots in perpetual motion...

And a few keepers.

I love this kid like crazy! His teachers have know idea what a little, wild man they have on their hands. In the meantime, for two hours twice a week, I'll be alone with this one...

Don't let her adorable face fool you, she is kicking my butt all over the house these days. And as I write this last sentence, I turn around and find her naked and singing on the kitchen table. Time to get off the computer Mom.

there are no words...

2010-09-07T08:30:00.007-06:00

To sum up how Jacob is feeling about his first day of Kindergarten...in a word, EXCITED!

To sum up how I am feeling...

devastated

thrilled

nervous

giddy

sad

relieved

horrified

and

thankful!

What am I going to do without him?

How has the rest of the world gotten by without him for so long? They don't know how lucky they are!

fatties need not apply...

2010-08-23T01:12:00.005-06:00

I love to mock my local paper! However, I can't really hold "The Sun Advocate" responsible for the crazies who take out strange personal ads. This one made me laugh. I'm sure his phone is ringing off the hook! Look out ladies!

I could have saved him some money with a shorter ad summarizing the basic points...

Desperate, old, unambitious and single LDS Dad seeking non-fat, 30 to 40-something year old woman who loves the outdoors, sappy music and doesn't mind poor spelling, indifference, the occassional use of words like "eldest" in everyday conversation, and loads of credit card debt in a BFF or possible husband who has a decent body but a face like a dropped pie. PS: I need a mom for my kids and don't mind if you have some too.

OK, I'm not sure if that ad was really any shorter than the original but it was a fun rewrite.

to the sea...

2010-08-20T11:07:00.007-06:00

I love Jack Johnson. He is an amazing musician, a talented song writer, a likeable treehugger, a Dad, a husband and he seems, from a stalkers point of view, to be a good person. He donates 100% of the profits from touring to charity. And he regularly made fun of on SNL so that makes him somewhat iconic. Oh yeah, and he is hottie.

He is not the best dressed celebrity. But he has some of the best lyrics...

Everybody thinks that everybody knows about everybody else...Nobody knows anything about themselves becuase their all worried about everybody else.

She gives me presents, with her presence alone. She gives me everything I could wish for. She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home.

Look at all those fancy clothes,But these could keep us warm just like those.And what about your soul? Is it cold?Is it straight from the mold, and ready to be sold?

Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart. Like, why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard? It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving. I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together.

And, best of all, Jack Johnson concerts are one that Dave and I can actually agree on. Unlike Christopher Cross and Gwen Stefani. So I can always count on the SLC stop on his tours for a date night. Even if I have two nephews tag along. Austin, ROCKED out, by the way!

look who called me today!

2010-08-12T15:00:00.004-06:00

I didn't answer. But they left me a message that I could call them if I wanted to lower my interest rate on my current credit card account. Thanks for the heads up Caller ID.

one place I would love to live in if it weren't for that whole job thing...

2010-08-08T20:49:00.005-06:00

This weekend was so much fun vacationing with friends in Bear Lake. I love my friends, I love Bear Lake, and Garden City, and raspberries, and hanging out, and playing on the Beach, and being sped around the lake on a tube and not cooking, and hide and seek with "the kids", and short parades, and fireworks seen from the deck, and going to bed early and staying up late sometimes too. I don't love packing, or unpacking or long car trips or tired babies but I won't talk about those things. Last year, we came home from Bear Lake with an ferocious kitten we named Bear. This year there were no surprises, just lots of good times and fun people. And I still have the Season Finale of FNL to watch and some leftover junkfood to eat. It's been a great weekend!

Here are my cute kids...

Some of the girls (sorry Monique)...

Some of my peeps....

And all of the kids! Wow!

in the funny post welcome you read my blog...

2010-08-05T09:31:00.006-06:00

I had to share this AWESOME packaging on some squirt guns I bought last night. Really Gigatoy? WOW! I love this so much!

And it gets better...

This is a classic! Am I right? So funny! I can't get through the last....um...sentence(?) without cracking up. If you want one for yourself I found it at "Fresh Market". It was worth the $3.99 even without the squirt guns.

PS: China, stop telling everyone how smart you are and prove it by using proper diction and non-toxic materials in your exported baby toys.

thank you pioneers...

2010-08-03T10:30:00.012-06:00

What can you cram into two weekends? I'll tell you...if I can remember it all.

One trip to the rodeo...

( A fun rodeo but with the most horrible, dangerous, uncomfortable seating EVER which was inexplicably made for people under 4 feet tall)...

One Bee's Game...

One firework show...

One attempted batch of homemade bread destroyed by Eddie...

One 20 year High School Reunion (thankfully not mine just yet)...

One Baptism for this handsome nephew...

One play date at the park...

(That is Jacob on the pole and he climbed even higher the next time up!)

One Bridal Shower for this cute niece...

Attended by these other cute nieces who better not get married for a long time!

And Sunday after church, a lot of this for all of us!

Phew! I'm exhausted just recapping it. The next two weekends are going to be just as crazy! We have a trip to Bear Lake, a wedding, the Jack Johnson concert and a trip to Idaho Falls in the works. I'm excited but I wish I had a wife to do all the packing for me.

hey...hands off my boulders!

2010-07-20T21:32:00.003-06:00

First of all, this post is NOT about a recent co-ed ultimate frisbee game that got a little too competative. Although, that did happen! This post is to rant and complain about the miscreants who keep making off with our landscaping rocks! Now, I know not to leave my electronic equipment auspiciously in the front yard. I would never intentionally leave my mail in the mailbox or a package on my front door. But one might assume that a giant boulder, weighing several tons, that was carefully placed by heavy equipment between perinneals in the front yard would be safe. Apparently not. I might just be sleeping in my sleeping bag on the front porch with a baseball bat some time in the next month. That's all I'm saying!

these are off!

2010-07-15T23:29:00.002-06:00

14 years and I still like him...

2010-07-12T15:12:00.002-06:00

When I started falling for Dave, it was never "I like him BUT....". It was more of, "I like him AND...". He is not only kind to me, he is a kind person. He not only takes care of me, he takes care of everyone. He is hilarious and sweet and affectionate and humble and loyal and fun and basically a good guy in every way. He works really hard and he is always thoughtful about how he can help or support me with the things on my plate. He is the most tender hearted Dad there could be. I could never ask for more in a husband. I think we are a good match, but I'm sure lots of girls with more to offer than me would have been lucky to catch this guy. I'm glad they didn't...sorry Cami.

This weekend we went up to this spot, where we went four wheeling on our first date. I don't have a pictures of that trip, but just picture Dave with a lot more hair and me with a lot higher waisted jeans.

It was even more fun, this time around. Love you honey!

happy 4th of July!!!

2010-07-06T23:47:00.009-06:00

I am not so disillusioned as to believe that America is perfect. And I know there are many, many beautiful places in this world with much to offer. But, this time of year, I am so thankful that my children are HERE! That they have endless opportunity, relative safety, food on their plates and every reason to hope for an amazingly blessed life. And an opportunity to celebrate what an incredible country this is. God bless America!

rewind

2010-06-28T15:45:00.000-06:00

I went a month or so without any posts, and a months worth of stuff has happened. Jacob graduated from Preschool (both of them because I am one of THOSE crazy Moms). This is his awesome teacher from Munchkin Manor who he loved.

Jacob gave me this cute drawing of our family for Mother's Day, thanks to Miss Sarah and Miss Gwen at Creekview Preschool. I loved it!

We finished Pee Wee Soccer! I say we because I reluctantly agreed to "coach", but can you really call it coaching when you know nothing about soccer? My ignorance aside, Dave and I have got ourselves a pretty solid little halfback in the making.

And speaking of soccer, we have been watching a lot of World Cup matches around my house. Jacob asked to watch a game on the DVR first thing upon waking up this morning, and I don't mind because I like watching the games as well as watching the soccer hotties from all around the world. He has already started the "rewind it...I missed that!" after a goal. And since the US lost on Saturday...go Uruguay!

Dave went to the Pacific Northwest with his buddies Jayson and Don for a mancation. I only call it that because it sounds really gay and it will make Dave mad.

We had a Nelson family Reunion at the "Miles Chalet" in Midway. What a beautiful place! Who knew so many Nelson's could fit in one house. And once we identified the loudest snorers and separated them for the rest of the family, everyone even got a good nights sleep. It was so much fun!

We finished our nephew Kyle's room in the basement! He moved in this week! I'm relieved he has a nice place to rest his head and, if we ever get rid of him, we will have a theatre room! Kyle and Dave did the framing together. I am so impressed by Dave, he did everything but the sheetrock and mud himself, and it turned out beautiful! Here is a little glimps of the closet.

Or grass is finally starting to grow! If you look from far away and kind of squint, it almost resembles a lawn.

We went on a way too fast trip to Lake Powell with some good friends. It is such a beautiful place and we had a lot of fun. All the fun on the water has Dave back in boat buying mode, and I have been trying my best to hold him back. Lucky for me, a great deal on a Harley turned up and he has shifted focus. I'll let you know if I can dodge that bullet.

I am finally learning how to French braid. This may not seem news worthy, but I am pretty happy about it. It's been a strike against my womanhood for too long now. Doesn't baby Saren look so beautiful!

The next sports season had begun! Eddie is in T-ball and Jacob is in Pee Wee Coach Pitch. Jacob is, as usual, our hard core sports enthusiast. He is into the high fives, the pre game warm-ups, practicing at home all week, fist pumps, etc. Eddie is pretty much in it for the treat, and two innings is about all he has in him. And he is not sure which hand the mitt goes on but he knows he has got to be wearing it to run bases. He plays with all the intensity of Eeyore. I had to show these funny pictures of Eddie! Classic Eddie in this group shot.

Baby Saren started saying Mom around 3 weeks ago and hasn't stopped. She gets a little louder and more persistent at times, but it's pretty much a constant noise around the house, albeit a cute one.

Otherwise, we are spending most days of the summer so far, playing with the dogs and playing with the iPods. Plants vs Zombies, Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, Sudoku, Doodlejump....how much better can life get?

We celebrated Father's Day at my parents home with a beautiful dinner and all SEVEN of my siblings were there with their families, or significant others, or by themselves if you are a twin. It was a lot of fun to be all together, so much so that I didn't waste any time taking pictures but I hope someone did!

And most significantly, we said our goodbyes to Merrilyn, who left for Afghanistan two days ago. We love her so much and we are so proud of her. Her marines are lucky to have such a caring physician to take care of them during their deployments. We are going to miss her like crazy! Until she is back, we will be sending tons of prayers and love her way.

why I am bad at being a girl...

2010-06-27T21:30:00.006-06:00

Exhibit A...

OK, it's the only exhibit but I wanted to say that. So my little Sister, Beccy, showed me this awesome bobby-pin twisty hair trick that gave my hair a beautiful soft, wavy, curl that lasted all day long. This was four years ago when I visited her in Florida, and last night I thought I should try it myself. I slept in the twisty hair and bobby pins and could hardly wait to unroll everything this morning and see my beautiful hair! Wow! One untwisting down and I knew things were not going well. Obviously, this hair never saw the chapel doors. I had to stick my head under the sink and spend some time with a pick and leave on conditioner to even run a brush through it again. Eddie said, "Mom, you look exactly like an animal!". He and Jacob then had a discussion over whether I was a giraffe or a lion. As you can see, I seriously suck at being a girl. My brother, Richard summed it up best, "That is terrifying!".

I should know better than to try new and exciting hair do's. Come on! If I try to step out of the box, as far as primping is concerned, it never works. I always rip my nylons. I have a BOX full of non-set earrings and a drawer full of eye makeup I don't know how to apply. This is not a pity party, just the truth. My girly game is WEAK. And I won't even mention my broken uterus!

Also happening recently was a skin care disaster. I burned the crap out of my eyes with Loreal Advanced Revita-something eye cream. I looked like a freak for at least two weeks until I consulted my Doctor brother, Jethro, and was miraculously healed with some steroid cream. Dave had called me the "Bride of Frankenstein" last Sunday morning and nearly sent me into tears but I survived, and I am so thankful to have my wrinkly eyes back! I should have taken a picture but just imagine me with dried pancake batter around my eye sockets.
What else....? I cannot leave painted nails alone. I am constantly banging up my legs with scrapes and bruises which I regret every time I put on a skirt and notice the weeks worth of wounds. So very unsexy.

And I cannot seem to take care of my hands. I clean A LOT. And with all the hand washing and being a nurse, my hands resemble those of a spry 80-year-old. Dave sometimes reaches over to hold my hand and then cringes, and places it gently back on my lap. I have blamed living in the desert Of Utah, but maybe it's just me?

it's finally over...

2010-05-26T00:39:00.014-06:00

I usually post about my children on this blog. But let's face it, I'm no boring house wife. Sometimes I get excited about TV too.

It's that time of year when with some saddness and a mostly relief, television seasons start ending. Parenthood, I will miss so much! 24, I'm already done and I have yet to push through the last 4 hours! Glee, wish there was more! Pretty much everything else, I'm glad I can get my life back.

Enough has been said about the "Lost" finale. I don't want to go there. But tonight I watched the finale of "The Biggest Loser", and I've got some things to get off my chest. I use the term "watched" loosely, because when you fast forward through all the meaningless blah blah blah it was a 35 minute commitment TOPS!

First of all, WHO KNEW that along with all that weight...Mike was also losing every shred of his masculenity. He was gayer than Perez Hilton in a day spa during the finale! And what was up with that HUGE, diamond encrusted belt buckle? A little vulgar if you ask me. And his tight pants? And his see-through black V-neck shirt? And the chains? Oh, Michael....I never thought I would miss your crazy white-mans affro and your attempts to sound like some cool, fat gangster. But I do. Oh yeah, and Congratulations!

And Shay...54 pounds! Really? I mean, I'm sure you have worked your butt off and you are very beautiful and a nice person but...54 pounds? For $1000.00 a pound, I could lose 54 pounds. I'm disappointed.

On to Daris. Yes, he is a cutie. Yes, I'm glad he has a girlfriend and he looked so good. Blah blah blah. However, it was soooooo AWKWARD when Allie was asking for an update on his love life. I couldn't even look at the TV. Really. It was as if he hadn't spent the entire season saying how he had NEVER had a girlfriend on nearly every episode. "And Daris, I heard there has been some changes in your love life recently. Do you care to tell us about that?". Long, goofy, awkward pause.... "Yes Allie, I finally found my genitals!". OK, he didn't say that. But that would have been only slightly more painful to hear. Leave the poor kid alone Sami Brady!

Ali reluctantly let Melissa come onto the Stage where she proceeded to yell at everyone. She was super skinny and likes to flex a lot these days. She is still scary so that hasn't changed.

And, I have to say it.....WHHHHAAAAATTTTT? WHHHHAAAAATTTTT? That's right! That's right! I'm wearing salmon colored, skinny slacks. WHHHHAAAAATTTT?

Oh Koli! You looked so skinny, but who dressed you? Obviously the same person who dressed your cousin Sam in a CAP sleeve! Come on! What have you done today? I'm not proud.

But, I have to congratulate everyone! Honestly! Those people are amazing (mostly). Everyone (except a few slackers...OK Migdalia) looked so good! Sunshine, Kenny Rogers, Marilyn Monroe's Grandma, everyone! They were all amazing!

And finally, Jillian's new show..."All about Jillian" or whatever it is called. I think we get the picture, NBC...you would like us to watch. But I'm not sure how much more Jillian I can take. I can only watch so much of her yelling, her lectures, her break through-moments, her cramming Jennie-O Turkey down people throats and her incessant eyebrow raising. And now, being fat is apparently not dysfunctional enough...from the looks of the ads it seems the contestants on Jillian's show also have to be hoarders or have Munchausen Syndrome, or some other psychological problem. I don't think I will tune in for all that stress.

As far as "The Biggest Loser" is concerned, I'm sure I will tune in for season 10!

where I've been...

2010-05-04T12:41:00.010-06:00

It's already been two weeks, but I've finally had some time to catch up on life. Sigh......I had a vacation. A real-life, honest to goodness vacation. My David stayed home with our kids, and I spent a whole week with these girls, who I love.

It was so wonderful and a little excrutiating to be away from my my family for SEVEN days, but I came back feeling so glad to be home, refreshed, and a little more human than when I left...which is really the point, isn't it?

I could never recap the whole week, but here are a few things that will stand out in my memory...

Eating crazy good food at places like this...

(The Flying Melon on Ocracoke Island).

Seeing the Raleigh Temple,

historic Fort Macon,

and Sherri's fake tan!

Taking in the views...

from the road,

from a boat in the Atlantic,

and from the top of this lighthouse.

Island hopping in North Carolina's beautiful Outer Banks...

and wondering who lives here,

and here! Seriously...

Hiking on this trail...

Playing at the beach...

Watching the sunset...

stepping out at night onto the front porch to look at this...

And laughing....a lot!

I'm a lucky girl for having two amazing sisters of my own. But then I married Dave and immediately aquired SIX more amazing sisters, and ONE new sister-in-law and, somehow, my brothers have married far above themselves and given me yet another...THREE sisters who I love. That's TWELVE wonderful ladies I can call for advice, ask for help, dump my problems on, swap recipes with, who all love my children and have helped take care of them and who I consider some of my greatest friends. I'm a lucky girl. I just wish everyone could have been there!

And what else can I say about David, except that he is an amazing Dad! There were a few minor incidents during my absence (a triple drowning scare at the Desert Wave Pool, a lock down at Cabella's for thirty minutes when Eddie disappeared and some kind of rice disaster at dinner that I am still trying to figure out). But, despite massive amounts of cereal and fast food consumption, Dave handled everything like a pro including another ear infection, swimming classes, coaching 2 soccer games, preschool and work. And somehow, I came home to a clean house, an organized laundry room, happy kids and, in one unfortunate turn of events, to this adorable bedding in my boys rooms...

being replaced by this!

Punishment from Dave? Perhaps. I'm not convinced that the boys will EVER let me put there cute bedding back. The giant lettering reading "Their flame is mightier than their bite"???. Jacob and Eddie are beyond thrilled!

It was a great trip. Dave is going to get away in a few weeks for a trip of his own and I am so glad he will get the chance to do it. I missed my kids and Dave so much but this was one of those rare opportunities that I just couldn't miss! My first morning at home, Saren had some epic bed head happening to welcome me home.

100 posts and still grossing you out...

2010-04-17T22:24:00.006-06:00

Yesterday was a BEAUTIFUL Saturday morning! Somehow or another I managed to get showered, get the kids dressed and my house clean by 10:30 am! I had the bug. If you live in a small town you know what I mean by that, and I had to get out of town. Dave was in the Sand Dunes riding. Why not take off for the day? I packed some pyjamas for the kids and headed through the Canyon. I was blissfully ignorant of what lied ahead!

I should have paid attention to the first indication that this day was going to bite...no radio! Dave had done some repairs to the car and the fancy anti-theft radio had not been "reset". I could live with that, I guess. The sunshine made up for it and I passed the time by listening to "Handy Manny" talk about being green. We made it through the Canyon and had a nice lunch with my parents and Grandma Great at a little Cafe in Mapleton, visited Uncle Richard to check out his latest home project, played with Rufus the dog and stopped at my Mom's for a couple of hours. I even got a chance to sneak away for a quick errand. My sister-in-law, Lynette, was nice enough to bring her daughter, Kyla, and join us for a movie in Spanish Fork. The plan was to leave straight from the movie and make it back to Price in time to hear about Dave's trip and tuck the kids in bed. This was where best laid plans went horribly wrong.

Fifteen minutes or so into the movie, Saren threw up. It was just a little urp really, dripping onto her dress and my lap. I wiped it up as best as I could and felt a little bad for stinking like baby puke but kept enjoying the movie. Thirty minutes later, unfortunately, Saren hurled again. This second one was no "urp", it seemed like, at least, four gallons of barf. My poor baby had a thick, continuous rope of vomit that kept pouring out of her and wouldn't stop. Her dress was completely soaked as were most of my jeans and one shoe where the puke had run down my leg and filled up my ballet flat. Really! I had a blanket to soak up what I could, but the floor was so slippery underneath us I barely made it out of the row to exit the theatre. It didn't take me too long in the restroom to realize our clothes could not be salvaged. I got most of the chunks off us, and walked a few stores away to a Kmart, where Saren and I roamed the store, smelling like homeless people and looking for something cheap we could change into. After making our purchases, we went to the Kmart Restroom armed with a new box of wet wipes to change. I danced around the handicapped stall, barefooted, trying to wipe vomit off my thighs and put on some new jeans while trying to keep Saren away from the toilet. It was fun!

We made it back to the movie just as Lynette was leaving with her daughter and my boys. However, we didn't even make it back to Aunt Lynette's house before my poor baby destroyed her new outfit and her car seat with another bout. How she had anything left in her I will never understand. A bath and some clean jammies later, I was getting Eddie and Jacob to load into the car when I heard a whimpering from the bathroom. Eddie had been sick with diarrhea and tried to take care of it himself. Wow!...is all I can say about that. I scrubbed the bathroom, scrubbed Eddie, threw him into the tub, got his jammies out of the car and finally got on the road. I said out load..."Holy crap! Who is next?" and Eddie answered, "How 'bout Jacob?". Meanwhile Dave was calling...Are you still in Utah County? What is taking so long?

I had to stop for gas, and was so flustered that I drove away from the pump with it still attached to my car. Arrrgghhh! And I make so much fun of morons who do that! Finally I got on my way towards the freeway and Saren hurled again! It was merciless! I pulled over and mopped up what I could with the last clean thing in the car (Jacob's pyjamas that he hadn't changed into). When he looked over and saw me using them he said..."Hey! H E Y!". I couldn't blame him. Thankfully, Saren finally fell asleep in her soaked clothes and car seat and slept the rest of the way home. She didn't even puke again until I carried her into our house from the car. The last 7 miles from Helper to Price were especially nerve wracking as Eddie had announced his yummy felt yucky and he needed to go poop again. Somehow, we were spared that disaster.

So I am not at church today! Instead, I am home with my poor little sick ones. I was going to spend today thinking of something clever to write about for my 100th post, but it seems I have been led in a very specific direction. Really, how could I ignore a day like yesterday?

i'm having growing pains...

2010-04-16T21:00:00.006-06:00

This is a picture of Baby Saren enjoying her last bottle...ever! What can I say about the gun? She has two violent toddlers for brothers. I weaned the boys off the bottle right at twelve months (because that's what "What to Expect the First Year" said to do and I was a good mommy back in the day). But is was so hard with Baby Saren...to help her grow up...which was and is already happening way too fast.

At her one year mark, Baby Saren was in the middle of what felt like a chain of never ending ear infections, and although I knew getting her off the bottle might help...I just couldn't bring myself to take her last, little source of comfort away. But, in an effort to not be lame, I told myself when she was healthy, we would say farewell to the Dr. Brown's. Thus, a few weeks ago we took away the daytime bottles, and finally, a few nights ago, the bottle altogether.

Suddenly, unloading the dishwasher is a pleasure, well...that's a stretch, but with only sippy cups to reassemble, it gets done so fast. And Baby Saren had a few rough nights with lots of tears and begging, but tonight I sang her a song, kissed her little face, said a prayer and she snuggled right into her crib with her favorite blanket and went to sleep without a peep. Is it crazy that this makes me tear up? I inherited the raging sap gene from both sides of the family, I am afraid.

I am so glad and so sad that she is growing up! Dave and I love her so much we can hardly stand it! And yes, we call her "Baby Saren". I don't know why, it probably has something to do with our inexplicable affection for "Dog the Bounty Hunter". Let's just say, I understand why Duane Chapman calls his youngest daughter "Baby Lisa" even now that she is all grown up.

on death and dying and other stuff

2010-04-07T18:56:00.000-06:00

It seems that lately the "death" theme has been hovering above my head. I am a hospice nurse, so it may seem apparent that dying is a common part of my days, but it's been interesting to hear my kids perception on the end of life.

Recently, our little, black kitty named "Bear" was killed by some neighborhood gansta dogs who were roaming away from their home. I would like to call Bear a beloved pet, but the truth is he was mean and naughty and I can only hope we would have eventually grown to love him. Regardless of his horrible temperament, I would, of course, have never wished a dog mauling on poor Bear. When I told the kids that Bear had died and wouldn't be coming home, Jacob thought for a while and said..."Mom, I think Bear is going to be OK!". Of course, this was true in the long run, but right at the moment, Jacob couldn't understand that Bear was actually quite dead. Eddie chimed in that Bear was sleeping. I wondered why the idea that death is a permanent thing (at least in this life) was so hard for them to grasp, but my mind ran to all the times in movies or children's stories that dead things come back to life. In "Prince Caspian", a little drop from a magical bottle will bring you back again. In "Snow White" and "Sleeping Beauty"...the princesses are kind of "just sleeping". It's a hard concept for little ones even without all the mixed messages. Dang you Walt Disney!

A few weeks ago, Dave's sister and her family came to visit when a relative of theirs who lived near us passed away. Jacob was already at Preschool when they left for the funeral services. He came home and looked around at the empty house.

Jacob - Where's all my cousins?
Me - They went to the funeral.
Jacob - What's a funeral?
Me - When someone you love dies, you meet together at a church to talk about that person and what they meant to you.
Jacob - Oh, I see (a favorite phrase of his)! Well, who died?
Me - Uncle Rob's Aunt.
Jacob - Ohhhh, Who did it?

Apparently, most of Jacob's ideas about dying come from the battle scenes in "The Chronicles of Narnia" movies. The only way people die, he assumes, is by being brutally murdered. He and Eddie are obsessed lately with acting with "swords" (hot wheels tracks) and "bows and arrows" (curved train tracks fitted with rubber bands and No. 2 pencils) and then saying things like "You're dead!" or my favorite "My died!". I think this is a normal little boy thing to be interested in, so I don't worry about the present macabre play-time theme too much.

On a side note...Jacob invents his weapons quite ingeniously. He can actually shoot the pencils 20 feet or so with his homemade bow. He also has a variation on the standard, a crossbow, that he makes some days using a few more pieces. Dave is sure he is going to grow up to be a weapons manufacturer, which is of course, every parents dream. We can only hope...

Of course, death is something my chidren will certainly learn to understand, as everyone does. Maybe sooner than later as they are lucky enough to have TWO 96 year old great-grandmothers who, so far, can't seem to buy a ticket off this earth. Believe me, if they were for sale, my dear Grandmas' would happily be the first two in line. I tell Dave all the time, he better take good care of himself and our retirement accounts because, with my genetics, I will likely live to be 117.

Grief is such a funny thing, because I think I remember what's it like, to lose someone; and then, when I find myself in the middle of it, like when my Grandpa died several years ago...it surprises me how MUCH it hurts. I have to remind myself, of all the times I have gotten in my car to drive to a home of a loved patient who just died, and I get this euphoric feeling. That feeling you get when you are in your car on a beautiful day, the best song comes on the radio and you can't help but roll down the windows and drive a little faster than you should. That joy...I feel that a lot (not all the time), but frequently on my way to a home full of crying, loving family members. It seems contradictory, but I think it is just relief for the person who is gone...happiness that they are on the other end of a hard journey, mixed with sadness for their loved ones who are just starting on another hard journey of their own. Dave's Grandpa has a book of quotations and compilations from talks he gave throughout his life. One thing he said that I have always remembered is this..."The happiness of death is hidden from us, so that we can tolerate living.".

This blog got a little self indulgent (which I guess is the point of blogging so why point that out). Sometimes my thoughts run in a direction I wasn't planning, but that's the fun, or the really not fun (depending on how much you enjoy this topic), thing about writing.

saturday afternoon session...

2010-04-06T23:07:00.006-06:00

bros

2010-03-14T19:00:00.000-06:00

The other day, I overheard Jacob telling Eddie that he loved him and that Eddie was his best friend in the whole world! It was music for my mom ears. I am so thankful these two have each other and that God went to such great lengths to put them in a family with each other!

i'm just saying

2010-03-12T11:00:00.003-07:00

Have you ever noticed maybe a little bit of biases behind certain cartoon characters? I'm not saying I'm upset, or that anyone should necessarily be offended or care. It's just something to note. Let's compare two favorite boys laborer characters. Handy Manny - the adorable, singing, friendly Hispanic repairman and Bob the Builder - the Middle Aged, bossy, caucasian construction tycoon. Handy Manny lives in a cute little town called Sheetrock Hills where he owns a small repair shop. Manny does fix-it jobs around the neighborhood using his tool box stocked with basic tools like a wrench, a tape measure, a saw, a screwdriver and a flashlight. Manny usually gets paid in cookies from Mrs. Portillo or candy from Mr. Lopart.

Bob the Builder owns waterfront property on Bobland Bay. He has an arsenal of construction equipment (and employees) at his disposal including a cement mixer, a bulldozer, a cherry picker and a tractor. Bob drives all over Bobville in his jacked up pick up truck with a four wheeler in the bed. Bob takes on jobs like building homes, designing new skate parks and demolition of old structures to make way for airports. Bob convinced his retired father, "Bob Sr." to come out of retirement and manage the masonry end of their family construction empire. Seriously? You can't make this stuff up. I'm just saying...

this one kills me

2010-03-11T09:36:00.008-07:00

I don't want to forget this funny stuff Eddie has been saying, so I am writing them here! This post is mostly for me, so I can laugh about what a cute son I have the next time he pushes me to the edge of insanity, and I admit to Dave that I want to be placed in a pharmacologically induced coma until Edison is in Kindergarton. Sorry if these are only funny because I'm his Mom, deal with it.

Crying in protest while I rinsed the soap out of his hair in the bath tub...
"I'm a good guy Mom! I'm one of da good guys!"

Responding to me asking if he wants to go to a friends house to play...
"No, I too busy!"

Trying to get out of Family Home Evening...
"No thanks!" When that didn't work, "Dad, I...DONT...LIKE...THAT!!!"
Really? Already?

Not wanting Saren to mess up his and Jacob's blanket tent...
"It's too dangerous Mom. You better get baby out of here!"

While I was literally in the process of wiping his bum...
"You da best mommy in da whole wide world!"

After hearing me sneeze...
"You sick! You need to go to the doctor. Let's get in the car. Follow me!"

(Facebook repeat) After a long pause deciding what he wanted for lunch...
"I know! How bout Asian food?"

And, every time Eddie asks me to lay down with him while he goes to sleep, he always says...
"You need your iPod, go get it Mom."

And, finally...while I was writing this post, Eddie's subtle way of asking for a snack...
"Oranges! Where are you? Mom! I said 'Oranges where are you?'"

Even with all his cuteness, the best thing out of his mouth lately is that he finally says "I love you" back to me and Dave. With Eddie hugs, kisses and sweet words used to be so few and far between, that we are just taking it all in, even the arguing.

the no good, very bad month...

2010-02-22T20:56:00.007-07:00

This month has been a frenzied blur of runny noses, fevers, childrens meds, copayments, record amounts of laundry, sleepless nights, and sippy cups filled with gatorade. In February, between my 3 kiddos we have had strep throat four times, eight courses of antibiotics, 2 weeks of daily fevers, 3 ear infections, one bout of pneumonia and a trip to the ER for a brain CT (bet you can't guess who that was). So if you run into me waiting in line at the pharmacy and I seem a little haggard, you know why. If everybody can feel decent by the weekend we may have to get out of town. We are all a little stir crazy.

I took some time one morning to capture all 3 of their little, sick bedheads.

Movies and my DVR have been the constant noise in the house while the kids layed around like little, sick slugs. We've managed to read a little, play a little with play dough and a little with building sets, but I'm not going to lie...our TV has put in some overtime. All the vegging about made me think of this poem that I love...it makes me laugh, feel guilty and feel validated all at the same time. ???

Television

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rate and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

Ronald Dahl

a little allegory on life

2010-01-25T11:22:00.003-07:00

Once again...so close, but not quite good enough!

is it really that bad?

2010-01-22T00:08:00.003-07:00

I was tired of my tangled drawer of necklaces, so in a rare creative moment, I made this! I used an old frame from the basement, covered buttons and some beautiful fabric from Mrs. Guppy's. I was a happy girl. I loved getting some of my jewelry out of the reach of my children and in a spot where I could quickly grab what I wanted. It felt good to get my creative juices going and actually finish something. Yeah for me! Well, my enthusiam over this project was quickly swallowed up when Dave returned home.

He said that my lovely creation belonged in a Lesbian Master Bedroom. What? I explained that this level of craftiness would be wasted on most lesbians...even the non butch ones, but still he persisted. Dave's protest was mainly with the location. According to Dave, any place where a MAN might want to sleep or lie in bed and look at this on the wall was the wrong one. In my defense, I hung this behind the door into our room, so it wouldn't be prominently on display (after all these necklaces are no treasures...mostly buy one get one 1/2 off at Maurices), but I'm afraid any amount of "craft" is too much for my Dave. I have complied with nearly all of his craft paranoia. The walls of our home bear no witty catch phrases. I don't do toll painting or make him use his router to cut out hundreds of wooden easter eggs or witch hats or stockings. There are no dried flower sprays with rafia bows on our mantle. I have nothing that is bedazzled, or covered in buttons or ribbon. Our home is a Martha Stewart wasteland of sorts.

I think I will make something new to annoy him. Maybe a cute, fabric cover for his gun safe or some kind of a wooden animal to hang on our bathroom wall with a pouch for his toothbrush and razor.

it's a nacho world....and we're just living in it

2010-01-19T20:43:00.005-07:00

First of all, I pray this picture is not of a real human being. Secondly, sorry about any nightmares it might cause.

Anyway...the term nacho is one that I hold dear to my heart. I first heard it used by my little sis to refer to someone's enjoyably fake hair. Let me explain. If a lady comes walking by with a giant wad of non hair stuck to her head in some fashion...it's nacho hair. It's.....not....your....hair, or more precisely not...cho...hair! Nacho hair can take the form of a weave, a wig, a clip on ponytail, spray on color for bald men, or even a bump it. Anything that you attempt to make look like hair, but is not hair...that's nacho hair.

Lately I've been using nacho to refer to other fake phenomenons. I'm surprised how often the term can be applied. Nacho boobs, nacho eyelashes, nacho hair color, nacho fingernails, nacho lips, nacho body (Spanx). I'm not much of a nacho girl (mostly out of laziness) not that there is anything wrong with it. I do, however, have a nacho tooth. A little porcelain tooth that covers one of my teeth that God meant to give to a wolverine. This undersized, pointy fang was thankfully and compassionately covered up during my years of teenage angst. I haven't missed it. It's got me thinking, though, about what parts of me are really me and what are just...well not. I believe I will die, and someday get my body back. Am I going to get to keep my Nacho tooth? Or will I be back to looking like a feline? I am told I inherited this tooth from my Grandma Bingham. I think she would enjoy a shiny, new nacho tooth as well....as would all of our progenitors who painfully carried the pointed tooth up the family tree. What about everyone's beautiful, straight teeth thanks to braces? Do we get to keep the alignement or will the choirs in heaven be filled with a bunch of snaggle teeth? You would think God would let Dentristy continue, or those"problems" would just be done away with. Certainly there will not be a need for plastic surgeons, so that's gonna be a bummer for a few husbands out there. But where will the line be drawn? Anyway, these are the workings of my delinquent brain....things that keep me up for a minute or two at night, until I take out my bump it, climb under the covers and fall asleep!

birthday bonanza (light on content...heavy on pictures)

2010-01-16T18:18:00.001-07:00

Hooray! it is with great relief and a little sigh of joy that i can say...all the birthdays are over! Jacob is 5, Edison is 3, Saren is 1 and I am timeless and suspiciously pale skinned. We have had lots of parties and cakes and gifts exchanged in the last few weeks.

Jacob woke up the day after Christmas and said "I can't believe it's my birthday TODAY!" I had to agree. We had a quiet, little birthday lunch at Chucky Cheese. Jacob may have a future as a skee ball olympian.

Then, off to Grandma Nelson's house for more Christmas partying. Jacob made this cute face when we sang to him.

We had the annual Christmas "gift" (I use that word loosely) exchange...

...and a fun, new tradition - ghetto pinata!

On to Edison. In the mother of all random requests, Eddie had his little heart set on a "Master Crane" cake. I know, right? Could you pick any character more annoyingly obscure? Templeton maybe? Master Crane is a character from "Kung Fu Panda", although in Crane's defense he is surprisingly Bad A. I tried to dissuade Eddie by describing a cool a "Hot Wheels"cake. He would have none of that. Master Crane could not be moved from Eddie's Kung Fu grip. And so, I made this sorry cake. The picture doesn't do it justice...it was much uglier in real life. It was the best I could do. Ace of Cakes, I'm sorry.

Eddie tried his best not to like it, as he is determined to be contrary at all times, but I know he was excited. Edison spent the rest of the day trying to keep Jacob from running off with his birthday gifts and the rest of the week singing "Happy Birthday to Eddie" with me so he could re-enact blowing out the candles. He has grown up a lot since last year, when the fire on his birthday cake sent him into a terrified cry.

Saren was her laid back self. "Ok, let's go out for dinner! Presents...sure I'll rip the paper off. Everyone is singing to me...I'll smile. Cake...yeah I'll eat some. You want this new toy Eddie? Here you go!".

Jacob spent much of the afternoon making little gift tags for all of Saren's presents and taping them in place.
I can't believe she is 1!
Since Saren hated this (being stuffed in a gift bag), we didn't repeat it on her birthday. This picture cracks me up.

And I went on a date with Dave for my birthday. So wierd and lovely to be alone. It was fun anticipating a night out all week, I only wish I would have had time for primping like I used to before a date. But I wear my hair much smaller these days and I have forgotten how to fix it anyway.

Ho ho ho...

2009-12-29T12:28:00.011-07:00

This blog has been edited for content...topics that were deliberately excluded from this post to make our Christmas memories more jolly are as follows:

1) Mom being on call and having non stop phone and house calls on Christmas day.
2) Dad's near hospitalization for pneumonia.
3) Vomit palooza in Grandma Bingham's master bath.
4) 104 degree fevers during the night.
5) Eddie drinking the water in Grandma Nelson's denture cup and then throwing the "rest" in the garbage.

Having said that...

Christmas vacation this year has been lovely. Honest it was! We had a nice FHE Christmas week and made little paper angels for the tree where we each wrote down something we would work on to be better. I said I would be patient all the time! Jacob wrote that he would share. We voted on Eddie's behalf and said that he would not yell. Saren would smile a lot. Done. Dave wrote...I will quote the angel he made directly "Daddy...stop talking nasty, no yelling, a lot of patience, mind out of gutter". It was a moving little activity.

Later in the week, we had a fun visit with Aunt Annie, who is here every weekend, and Aunt Merrilyn, who is visiting from North Carolina. My kids love their aunts, especially these two.

Christmas Eve we took a picture of Eddie's 2 year old mustache with this lovely Christmas backdrop.

I wondered if I would need to put Saren's hair in some kind of tail before Christmas morning pictures. I did.

Christmas morning, Jacob took a lot of prompting to get out of bed before he remembered what day it was. Then we did a lot of this....

(opening presents)

And a lot of this...

(posing by our loot).

Santa brought a lot of things, but most beloved was a package of fruit snacks (which Mom never buys) and had the kids in a complete frenzy of joy. Eddie has never posed so nicely for a picture.

And, after tucking the kids in bed Christmas night, I was up late making a Spiderman birthday cake. Birthdays are a Christmas tradition in our family too. Merry Christmas!

i'm feeling a little regret

2009-12-18T13:09:00.002-07:00

I'm in a pickle. I recently ordered some Christmas cards online. It was a relief to get them done, until I started really stressing about the content of the brief, obligatory letter I included. This little note, recapping our year, is being printed right on our card...so it's all or nothing. I can't censor content for the elderly, the holy ones or the easily offended on our Christmas card list. This now has me worried. What I thought was a cute comment about "bodily fluids", now seems an inappropriate reference in poor taste for a Christmas Card. Oh, I need a redo but I'm not going to get it, they are paid for and on their way to my door.

Dave was no help at the time I placed the order..."Whatever honey" was all he said when I asked him if the bodily fluids reference was OK or not. But, a mere hour later he suddenly exclaims, "Great! I guess I can't mail one to my mission President because you had to talk about bodily fluids in our Christmas card!". Thanks a lot honey! This got me thinking of all the other people whose homes I should probably not disgrace with our card. In our extreme narcisism, we ordered a few extra because Dave said, "I can give them to some of my patients". Great! Not anymore. I could cost him his career with my little comment. Also, there are some of my Aunts and Uncles who likely only know me as Lynda's daughter...and are probably not aware of my wicked rhetoric and sarcasm. They will now think of me as a bratty, wise acre.

A hopeful thought crossed my mind that maybe the lettering would be too small for some older people to notice the reference. Or maybe, people won't bother reading the whole note. I'm reaching aren't I? These are the ramblings of a desperate woman, I know. On my blog I can pretty much be myself. No one over 65 years old has ever seen it, so that eliminates most of the people I would worry about offending. I was feeling a little too much creative freedom while I wrote the Christmas card, I guess. It's so hard for me to write just a nice letter...the smirky comments just pour out of me. I can't help it. It feels so disingenuous, until I include a little smut. It's like asking Eddie to walk down the hallway without tripping or running into a wall...can it be done by someone? Yes! Can he do it? Not likely!

So, I apologize if after receiving my card...you find me immature and lacking in tact. You are probably right, but it was bound to come out eventually.

what we've been up to...

2009-12-17T00:57:00.010-07:00

Me....I've been making these while fighting an ugly, epic, holy war with a not-to-be-named neighbor about who has the rights to "pretzel sticks" in our neighborhood gift exchange. Kelly, these are all yours for 2010 and the rest of eternity. I never want to "make" a pretzel stick again and I think yours were prettier anyway. I should never have tried to dethrone the queen (notice the inferred apology tainted with a subtle diss by not capitalizing "the Queen"). It's been fun. But next year, it's that crappy chex mix with powdered sugar. Anyone want to fight me for that?

Dave...wasting time on facebook. Just kidding honey...he has been doing lots of online shopping. Some of it even for other people, apparently. I am under strict orders to not look at e-mails from Amazon.

Jacob...begging for time on Dad's iPod...

and being cute in his Preschool Christmas program.

Edison....being naughty, being ornery, being funny (in that order) and playing with every item in the house that is not a toy, like the kitchen fausett.

Who me?

Saren....teething (she finally broke through one of those mean top front teeth)

...acting like a big kid. This girl is a toy junkie. It kills me to watch her follow the boys around the house and play like them.

And, most imortantly...eating like a human. Saren is nearly one, so I am officially letting her have all that stuff babies can't have and want so desperately. She is finally getting her hands on ....peanut butter, honey, chocolate, eggs, citrus and nuts (not all in the same meal) and she is pretty amped about it.

a fly on my wall

2009-12-16T21:50:00.001-07:00

These are things that could have actually been overheard in my house today...

Eddie - "I yike peanut sammich"!
Me - "OK"
Eddie - "With big, big honey on it"
Me - "OK, you want a peanut butter sandwich with honey?"
Eddie - "All the time, Mom....All the time"!

And, during an hour long wrestling/tackle football session between Eddie and Jacob...

Jacob - "You ready to feel the wrath, Eddie?"

my cup runneth over...

2009-12-03T08:32:00.002-07:00

No matter how nice of a day it was, Thanksgiving Thursday couldn't help but be outdone by our Saturday, when we went to the Salt Lake Temple and had Saren sealed to our family. It was a wonderful day and Saren was so happy and darling and full of smiles and charm (as she usually is). It was a sweet, sweet experience and I have little snapshots in my head of many beautiful moments that I hope my forgetful brain will never lose. Jacob and Edison were so excited and knew what a special thing it was to be there. I hope their little minds can remember too.

High Five! I got sealed today!

Handsome big brothers!

Eddie kept saying "It's a Castle!" as we started walking up towards the temple grounds.

Our three little miracles...

Aunt Lynette says she has never laughed so hard on the temple grounds...

Wait for it....

And finally, I can't help myself...a little love note to my baby girl.

Baby Saren, this is your family! You are stuck with us now. We love you so much! I don't know if you will ever have a baby as darling and happy and good natured as you, because you really are one in a million...but I hope someday you get a little glimpse of the joy you have brought to me, your Dad and your brothers. You are the little cherry blessing on top of my blessing sundae. We could never have hoped for a more loving, sweet girl who is so full of life and enthusiasm, and we couldn't possibly be more in love with you. You are a beautiful, radiant child of God and I couldn't be more proud and blessed to be your Mommy. We are all so thankful you found your way into our home.

finally final!

2009-11-24T00:19:00.007-07:00

Today we finalized Saren's adoption! What we have known to be right and true and perfect for 10 months and 23 days is now right and true and perfect in the Seventh District Court! It is a special thing to hear what it means to be someone's parent and swear an oath in court to fulfill those obligations. Every parent should get this opportunity...to tell the world that you are and will always be responsible for and available to your child, in every way necessary and in every respect is a very sweet thing.

We will always be grateful to Bill Heder, our awesome Attorney, who has led us through many an adoption crag and mire without breaking a sweat and with total reassurance and confidence. He is worth every penny!

And to Judge Douglass B. Thomas, who after pronouncing Saren's adoption as final, pulled a little, stuffed "Wilbur" out from behind his bench and said affectionately..."This is for you baby!". What a sweet public servant.

And, today, I can't help but love, even a little more, our birth parents, who made this all possible. I know, in my heart, that God will most certainly reward them richly someday as I could never adequately express what it is they have meant to our family.

And, of course, I thank my Heavenly Father, who brought everyone together...and made a family where there was once just David and myself and a lot of hope. We are so grateful!

visions of sugarplums

2009-11-05T11:52:00.005-07:00

Last night, I had so many laughs while the boys carefully searched through a Walmart Christmas toy ad. When Jacob turned a page to reveal a load of Star Wars paraphernalia, Eddie was so excited...all he could come up with was "Oh....Come on! Come on guys!". Other things Eddie repeated over and over were "Hmmmm...yet's see", "You gotta see dis!" and "What you yike Mom?". Jacob was torn between a hot wheel race track and a dinosaur tower....but he woke me up this morning for help writing a note to Santa, so he must have made his decision.

The biggest crack up was when Eddie pointed to this picture.

Eddie -"What that?"

Me - "It's a gorilla!"

Eddie - "No, that's a boy-rilla"

So funny. He went to bed with his little book and Jacob asked me for it first thing this morning.

This Christmas is going to be so much fun! I remember wanting to be a mom so much and how this time of year just doesn't have the same magic without kids. I'm so thankful for these little sweeties.

can you guess?

2009-11-05T11:46:00.004-07:00

the windowsill
my couch
Saren's hands
Saren's left foot
a wicker basket
four bathroom towels
shower curtain
tile floor
The toilet seat
Eddie's feet
Eddie's hands
Under the computer desk
The flush lever
the bathrug
Down the hallway
the shower curtain
A box of wet wipes

These are the places Eddie managed cover in poo while I was making my bed this morning, 10 minutes before the neighborhood preschool arrived..."I keen it myseff!" was his only defense.

halloween wrap up

2009-11-03T13:14:00.013-07:00

Halloween is over! Yeah! It is one of my favorite times of year...but seriously...how many parties are possible to squeeze into three days? Seven....yep. That was difficult what with all the peeing going on in Eddie's costume. But we survived. The kids had lots of fun and that is all that really matters. Dave and I had a great time at a party with friends. We dressed up as a "Biggest Loser" contestant and Jillan. Really, I just wanted an excuse to dress like a hoochie. No muscles...I know. It was a little bit of a stretch. My eyebrows were clearly lacking as well.

Why the wig? Well wigs are just funny. You can't help but laugh to see someone you love in a ridiculous wig. It's humor on the basest of levels...like seeing someone get hit in the yoo-hoo's or trip violently down the stairs. Good memories.

And speaking of violence...my boys dressed up as "Army Guys" this year. They were very cute in uniforms made by Grandma B. Jacob was especially proud, and for the week leading up to Halloween night, he would do anything I asked it I pretended to be his commanding officer. "Do not dishcarge that firarm in the vicinity of the sleeping baby cadet! Move it upstairs doubletime soldier and pick up your blocks in an orderly fashion!" and "Keep your sandwich in the mess hall or I will send you to the General for latrine duty so fast it will make your head spin!". You get the idea. He would salute me and do his best not to smile. Even with the perks, I'm glad it's over...I had used all my good stuff up by Thursday.

It was an unfortunate serious of bad timing and bad moods that led me to not really get a good picture of Eddie this year...but these paint an accurate picture of the holiday. The highlight was teaching Edison to say "trick or treat" which Eddie translated into "freakin' treat!" I loved that.

Here he is eating a 1 pound can of cashews....a choice I would come to regret at least 6 times the next day.
And Saren was an adorable little flower/fairy/elf/Anne Geddes model (I'm not sure exactly which), but thanks to Lori for the cute costume. She said her first word on Friday night... "Candy" as clear as day and I think Halloween should get the credit.

And who can forget these guys...they're back!!! Some genius on the city council decided not to wrap their legs around the trees on main street this year (no doubt thanks to my hard hitting, expose on the "downtown humpers" from last year)... http://tookiecramer.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html

I think this use was much less creepy.
Happy Halloween everybody...bring on Thanksgiving!

catching up...

2009-09-29T21:09:00.005-06:00

SUMMARY...

I am a mom who is falling behind...in everything.
Jacob had his first day of Preschool (for the second time).
He looked really cute.
Eddie was sad, he wanted to go to.
Jacob was stoked.
Here are some pics.

generic mom toilet training blog post part 2

2009-09-29T20:37:00.004-06:00

I hate to write one of those posts...but I am a mommy. So this is news worthy to me.

Jacob has had a few "accidents" since school started. This was understandable, but they were getting more frequent and I felt I had to try and sort things out with him.

Me - Buddy, did you have another accident?
Jacob - Yes.
Me - What happened?
Jacob - I don't know.
Me - What can Mommy do to help? How can we make sure you make it to the potty next time?
Jacob - Mom.........just clean it up.

And so I did.

On to Edison. He is showing some interest in all things potty. We have been reading a potty book, many times a day which he loves, primarily because I say things like poop and pee pee and he laughs. At the end, the little boy in the book says..."I'm a big boy now! Do you want to be a big boy like me?" Eddie initally answered..."Yes!". But soon found out that this response would lead to mom requesting he try to pee in the potty, which he doesn't want to do. Now when the little boy asks..."Do you want to be a big boy like me?", Eddie politely declines, "No thanks, just Jacob".

And so he is not a big boy.

Today, while taking a call from my sweet Aunt about my ailing Grandma, Eddie created the worst poop mess of all time. It was the stuff of legends really. I'm sure he will be high fiving the other boys in nursery next Sunday. I'll explain. The boys were playing outside, while I was on the phone.

After a minute, Jacob came inside, tapped my shoulder and announced...
"Mom there is poop on the patio"
What????
"Whose poop?"
"Eddie's!"

I walked outside to see Eddie naked from the waist down, diaper discarded and a large pile of crap on the patio. (Sorry if you find this disgusting, but I am nurse so I can write this while eating a Baby Ruth). Anyway, I told the boys I would be out in a minute to take care of "it", walked inside to finish my kind of urgent phone call and returned to the patio. Well, let's just say that 4 minutes was way too long to leave Eddie alone with his poop. He had attempted to clean it up. "I keen it myseff!" I'm sure he has seen Dave scoop up dog poop with a shovel. Well, there was no shovel to be found but Eddie did find a plastic rake and tried unsuccessfully to rake up the crap. You can imagine what this did. He then tried a plastic lobster claw. You squeeze the handle and two giant lobster claws close to pick up sand, playground bark, etc. Let's just say the lobster claw was never intended to transfer solid human waste. You can imagine what this did.

Eddie was quite thrilled to have me outside, cleaning up after him for such a long time. He kept walking over, giggling and pointing at the mess saying "poop in my pants". I tried to ask him why he removed his diaper and made such a mess...the only answer Eddie could come up with was "I yike ice cweam sammiches!" There was poop on the stucco of the house, all over the concrete, and all over the aforementioned "cleaning" objects. It was nothing that a half box of wet wipes and a pressure washer couldn't handle. Everytime I wanted to get mad at him for this mess, I would look up to see him going down the playground slide commando...and saying "Ouch" at the bottom. What else could I do but laugh. Besides, how can I get too mad at this little, mischevious face?

And so I had to write this post!

oh crap...

2009-09-09T21:33:00.004-06:00

Do you want the good news or bad news first? OK. The good news is...I got to find out exactly what would happen if Dave backed the Tahoe over my purse. The bad news is...one more digital camera down the crapper. The last one, a Polaroid, died of drowning...by honey (Eddie was the executioner and I'm pretty sure Jacob had complicity). Anyway, our new, little camera had only been in the family for a couple of months tops!

Dave blames me completely for leaving my purse on the garage floor. I can see his point. How would he have known to check behind the tires for my beautiful, white leather purse with red lining? Someone needs to start a foundation, or an awareness campaign...this could happen to you!

My first thought on seeing my squished purse was for the health of my iPOD. Thankfully, it survived. Cell phone...still working. Digital camera...not so much. Bottle of perfume...crushed to smithereens (whatever those are)! Now all of my tithing checks, cash and receipts smell citrusy, free-spirited and playful. I hope the Ward Clerk doesn't think I'm being flirtatious.

it's ladies night - oh what a night....

2009-09-08T13:00:00.004-06:00

I went on a girl's weekend. Woo-hoo! Where else can you share dirty jokes with the women in the Primary Presidency? I'm kidding...there were only few dirty jokes (thanks to Laurie), but mostly lots of eating, shopping and cracking up at stuff no one else would think is funny.

Without revealing too much, these are some things I learned.

1) Debra may possibly be the next "Octomom"

2) An enchilada is exacty the same as a quesadilla, just ask "Topher".

3) Not all prophecys made in the shower come true.

4) No one has any excuse to pee on a bobsled run.

5) As much as we all want to get away, we love to talk about our kids.

6) Never call anyone, right after church on Sunday.

7) Front porch stick witches were sooooo 2008.

8) Pink hair extensions make you pass for much younger.

9) I'm really short.

It was a lot of fun and it is nice to get a little break sometimes. I love hanging out with my girlfriends! And just so I didn't feel too relaxed - my vomiting family was waiting for me at home along with a ready to assemble swingset for my labor day enjoyment.

some pictures I love...

2009-08-19T14:54:00.002-06:00

I love that time of day when my lovebugs are all clean and shiny and ready for bed...

Cutting up these cucmbers with plastic knives for a salad actually entertained my boys for a good 45 minutes. It was heaven! Until Eddie started putting lettuce in his hair and yelling "Look my hat!".

The most perfectly placed barrel toy ever...

just a little respect please...

2009-08-17T22:37:00.006-06:00

WARNING....long sentence ahead.

During the summer of 2006, the community came together in Carbon County and built a beautiful place where our teenagers could mingle with one another, practice their tagging skills, pass the Dutchie down the left hand side, speak like truckers and give each other tongue baths, all the while scaring away pesky toddlers and young kids who need a place to play...that's right...The Dino-Mine Adventure Playground.

OK, I'm being facetious...but what has happened to our favorite little playground? It has been over run and I, for one, can't take it anymore!

My kids love this playground, but all summer I have been hard pressed to find a day where they could play carelessly, without me worrying about the impending Junior High invasion. I tried my luck again today, thinking that the school year would drive away the unwanted teens. It was wonderful for a while...until 4:15...when a herd of kiddos in Volcom T-shirts came walking, skating and riding up the hill towards us. In the past couple of weeks, while with my kids at Dino-Mine, I have witnessed the following.

1) A 10 or 11 year old couple engaging in a public make-out under the bridge (not rookies by the way).

2) A 9 year old ecstasy salesman in the Toddler area of the park.

3) A teenage boy hurdling inches over my 7 month old daughter's head while playing "tag" on the upper level of the playground.

4) A friend's son lamenting to his Dad..."Hey, those boys are saying garbage words!"

5) Skateboarding down the slides.

Come on teenagers! Come on lame, clueless parents who think your kids are just going to the playground. They are turning the said "playground" into a prepubescent Rave. At least the term "adventure" is apprope. Isn't there a Skatepark and BMX track about 200 yards away? Can't you leave the little kids playground to the little kids? I'm just saying...

a few things that need to be vented about...

2009-08-02T23:42:00.002-06:00

1) The blonde Lagoon girl. You know which one. She is cute, but come on...when she drinks that can of Coke in slow motion... it kills me. She looks at the soda with such bewilderment and affection. As if this newfangled Coke stuff is some sort of epic, earth-shattering beverage that is so surprisingly delicious and refreshing it may possibly end world hunger and make your boobs grow at the same time. That expression on her face should be reserved for winning the lottery (or maybe running into Jon Hamm in an elevator). And have you heard the radio ads? The female voice (I have to picture the aforementioned blonde, hot poodle) has the most irritating, nonsensical use of intonation..I'm sure it's meant to be sexy but all I can hear is..."It's what dumb is"!

2) My non stop e-mails from "Mr. X". The subject line always reads...."My millionnaire friend wants to meet you...". Enough Mr. X! I have tried blocking you, and still you persist. Maybe, Mr. X., you should tell your wealthy, desperate friend about my ill-tempered husband, my three children and my PMS. Move on to another hapless, gold digger. This ship has sailed. Also, my SPAM filter is a miserable failure for letting you repeatedly into my life, and by that I mean my laptop.

3) The worst country song EVER. "Double XL". I heard it on the radio yesterday (thanks KOAL) and my mouth was hanging open from pure, offended shock. I'm pretty sure a grammy was not involved in the writing, producing, singing or performing of "Save a Horse, Ride a cowboy", but this song justifies a public hanging. It is vile and horrid. Some sample lyrics for those of you not lucky enough to have heard this catchy tune...

Well double XL, double XL. Dont call me on the phone just ring my dinner bell! Im a lean, mean, love machine that likes to be held, ooo brrrrr baby Im a double XL!

No! You are a juvenile, absurd, distasteful, repulsive, self-ingulgent, untalented, overpaid pig of a man who sings a song about having a big weenie. Ew... seriously country music? Sir Mix-a-Lot you are not!

y'all come on back now, ya hear!...

2009-07-30T11:14:00.006-06:00

So, Dave and I finally succombed to peer pressure and went to Cleveland for the 24th of July firework show. No, not Cleveland, Ohio... they don't care about our Pioneer Days...Cleveland, Utah. The little blip off highway 10 between Elmo and miles of nothing. According to Wikipedia, Cleveland has a population of 508 and I'm pretty sure they included livestock in this figure.

It turns out, these country folk know how to party. People lined up rows of blankets along a grassy hillside next to a county building of some kind. A good band was playing, food was eaten, strangers blankets were trampled and desecrated by my children, and a fun time was had by all. Eventually, the fireworks started and I have to admit, it was impressive! The show was put on by a group of firefighters just across the road from the hillside, so it literally felt and looked like the fireworks were going off right above our heads. This thought was later confirmed by the warm, spent, cardboard firework casing I found my six month old sucking on. During the show, my kids yelled "Wow" and "Ohhhh" a lot. I heard people around us saying ..."This is so much better than the one in Price" (well done), a few "Yee-haws!" and surprisingly only one "Hell Yeah!". At the end of the show, a sign lit up with a tractor and the caption reading "I love this town", and the band struck up the John Mellencamp classic "Small Town...". The firefighters did a Rockettes-inspired grapevine across the firework field before one firefighter broke out into a spin, ending in some version of the splits. The "crowd" went wild! It was fun, I got a little teary thinking about how proud the Clevelanders were of thier show. And then my mind wandered to how in the world they pay for it...speeding tickets on Highway 10, is all I could come up with. As we walked to our car, a few groups of straggeling fireworks went off, that apparently weren't lit during the "show". These were the cherry on top of a fun night, and distracted my boys long enough to trick them into their seatbelts, so all the more appreciated.