balloon animal fail...

Today I took my boys to see the dentist. It went smoothly to my suprise. Jacob was somehow talked into an x-ray, a tooth cleaning and an exam. Eddie was "restrained" and the dentist got a quick look into his mouth. Mission accomplished.

Here is a picture of the balloon toy Jacob and Eddie were given at the end of their appointment. I think the hygenist called it a "rattlesnake". As we gathered our crap to leave the waiting room, I turned the balloon over and around a few times trying to see the snake correctly. I didn't get it! It frankly looked a little vulgar. I'm not implying it looked like anything specific, it just looked "wrong" and not much like a rattlesnake. That's all I'm gonna say. I shrugged and handed it back to Jakie, who was apparently a little confused as well. He said this immediately (direct quote...no fooling)!

"What this balloon supposed to be?.....A monkey butt?"

I cracked up. We have been to the zoo in the past month and Jacob was obviously paying more attention to animal anatomy than I realized.

Still laughing, I explained, "Buddy...I think that is supposed to be a snake".

Jacob..."No, it's not a snake...it's a monkey butt. Watch this!" He then held the balloon behind him and started making loud monkey noises and jumping around, grinning fiercly. Of course, we were still in the waiting room.

Just when I thought I could stop crying and keep it together, I got the boys into the car, and Jacob set his balloon down saying "Thanks Mom! That is a really, really fun monkey butt!" Has anyone, in the history of humans populating the earth, ever heard that sentance besides me?

PS: Don't judge me, I only took the pictures.

paging security

During a rough night with Edison this week of him coming in and out of his room, in and out of my bed and in and out of consciousness...I noticed he felt a little warm. Did I say a little? He felt like a raging furnace. I checked his temperature...105.2 degrees! Whaaaaaat? Checked it again.....104.8 degrees. Mommy panic ensued. After cooling him off, we made it until morning at which time I began the obligatory, lottery inspired, radio contest-like 8 am calls to Dr. Madsen's office. When I finally got through, I found out we already had a visit scheduled for Edison at 11am.

Me -What for?

Nice office lady - A follow-up head circumference check.

Me - Well, I'm not so worried about his giant head today, but more about this fever, can I bring him in for that?

They said yes. Turns out Eddie had ear infections - apparently bad ones with his sudden, high fever. Of course, like all my kids, before determining he had otitis media - he had to have huge amounts of wax scraped out of his ears before his pediatrician could see well enough to tell what was going on. My kids are champion ear wax producers. Anway, back to the ear infection. I was relieved! An ear infection was about the most benign problem that had crossed my mind. I was sure he had swine flu, or leukemia or meningitis (after all Sammy's baby Grace just had a fatal meningitis infection on Days - pretty sad). But, poor Eddie, it was a rough day for him, despite my relief. Imagine Eddie, with a fever that had spiked back up to around 103 degrees, being wrapped tightly in a plastic lined papoose board, having the Doctor probe around in both of his already infected and painful ears with a giant metal scraper for 20 minutes or so while Eddie sweated profusely and screamed non stop. It was so sad. I couldn't comfort him - I couldn't help him. All I could do was....well laugh... not in a mean way. But Edison was so darn funny during his torture. I was feeling a mixture of worry, pity and sadness and the giggles just came out listening to him try to toddler talk his way out of the mess. These are the things Eddie yelled over and over during his wax removal. I will go in order from the beginning to the end of the procedure.

"No, no, no"

"No more, no more, no more"

"Help me Mommy. Help Me"

"Take, take" (What he says when he wants me to hold him)

"All done, Done!"

"Daddy! Daddy! Where are you Daddy?"

"Car, let's go. Go in car NOW"

"Sticker! Sticker" (You get one when you leave the clinic)

"Stop it...stop it!"

"Get off me. Get off me"

And at last, my favorite..."I get you. I get you"

I'm not sure if his final threat was intended for me or Dr. Madsen. I like to think it was meant for the guy with the metal tools in hand and the guilty expression. Hopefully, he will forgive both of us. The good news is, Eddie is feeling much better after a few doses of antibiotics. He was so weak from the fever and the not eating and the throwing up (a puke worthy of a separate post by the way), but as soon as his fever broke he started acting like himself again. Eddie was trying to run around the house, pointing a toy rifle at me and yelling "Freeze mama!" all the while shaking from weakness. I had to literally hold him down to watch a movie so he could get a little needed recooperation. He is a wild man, but thankfully, a healthy one again!