my shame pants

I love "The Bachelor". Not the bachelor, bachelor (He's cute but kind of walks like a muscly gorilla) - but the show. It is such a mess. The people are a little slice of inhumanity (evidenced by vampire girl who went home this week). I love it. Every week, I sit down with Dave and Kyle, and we happily lap up the shame. This week I text Kyle (who was in the basement but seriously, who wants to walk downstairs) "Bachelor time...!" and he text back "Oh yeeeahhhh!".

I get embarrassed, I mean, really embarrassed at times while watching "The Bachelor". This happens whether I am in a big group or by myself. I have to hide my face for moments on the Bachelor like...

Singing of any kind

Poetry of any kind

Cat fights

Fantasy Suite moments

Crying

Limousine confessions

All "After the Final Rose" episodes

So basically, I spend a lot of time with a blanket wrapped around my face. I will also hide under my afghan completely, and watch the show through one of the little holes. I honestly can't watch reality TV without some kind of burka in place. I know God still knows how I am spending my time, but it makes me feel better.

Last night, I found myself embarrassed (karaoke to Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" anyone?). No blanket was available, but I had just done some laundry and had a clean pair of scrub bottoms on the top of the basket. The scrub pants worked well wrapped around my head, leaving only my eyes exposed. I removed them when things were mellow, then quickly reached for my shame pants whenever "Michelle" from Utah opened her mouth.

I have heard of a couple who only watched reality TV with laser pointers in hand. I think this would be a great option for Dave and I. No need to pause the show to discuss someones eye rolling...just laser circle around the eyes a few times with your mouth wide open, is there really a need to say more?

give me a "P"!

I am so overjoyed right now, someone hold me! My awesome husband replaced my laptop keyboard, and I am happy to say that I can now type the letter "P". No more google searches for "O", which invariably result in "Oprah" which I obviously use to highlight the "p" and copy the "p" which I can then paste into sentences so that I can write words like "happy" and "please" and "pawn" and "puke" and "proud" and "poppy" and "pharynx" (not all in the same sentence). Thank you Dave. Best $20.00 you ever spent.

how I can argue with that...

Yesterday Eddie slopped some oatmeal on his T-shirt during breakfast. He immediately asked for a new shirt, which I didn't want to give him seeing as how breakfast had only just started and he was bound to drip some more food on himself. I tried to talk him out of it, but he got more and more adamant, carefully showing me the drips. I told him we would put a clean shirt on as soon as he was done eating. Eddie growled at me and yelled, "Mom! I can't be the kid with the messy shirt!".

This is why Eddie is so hilarious, exhausting, cute and infuriating. He will eat jello like this...

...and then cry when he has sticky fingers and dirty clothes. What can I do except lots and lots of laundry?

PS: Isn't Cody cute?

calling all freaks...

This makes me happy.

OK, to be honest, the slight tilting of the container on the top left hand side bugs me a little bit. I know it is annoying, and maybe even a little pretentious. But nicely labeled, matching containers make me smile. I can't pretend to be organized all of the time. There are drawers in my house that have been rifled through by Saren to the point that I can no longer close them. But when I have time to organize one little corner of my world, I am elated.

There is probably a special place in hell reserved for freaks like myself. A closet, perhaps, full of different colors of plastic hangers with...(I shudder) wire hangers in the mix. I can imagine them haphazardly facing in different directions. With cans of food in staggered rows on the shelves, labels not aligned and the tomato soup perilously close to the crushed pineapple. I will take my punishment in hades, if needed, to have a little systematic order today.

For years, my family has mocked me for a plastic container in my bathroom labeled "Fertility/Q-tips". It's not that the two items went together. But my stack of ovulation test kits and pregnancy tests just fit so nicely on either side of a Q-tip box! And, hey, I always knew where to find them. Even, Dave, who never fails to amaze me at the things he CANNOT locate in his own home, can occasionally find what he is looking for with my label maker/plastic shoebox system. I mean, couldn't a monkey find the Betadine if it were stacked neatly in a clear container with a label reading "First Aid/Betadine"?

So, even though my car smells like a roasted diaper, and the cupboard under the bathroom sink is a booby trap (don't open it), my Christmas decorations are immaculately put away! I can sleep tonight!

Merry Christmas Eve!

I know New Years is over, but let's pretend I have it together, and it's December 26th. Besides, I have to get this posted, to make way for the upcoming birthday blog bonanza.

Christmas was a blur of complete mayhem, fun with family and, thankfully, a few moments of peace and and love for this season mixed in as well. Christmas break was fun and Eddie loved having Jacob around all day!

My kids love the obligatory, new Christmas PJ's picture in front of the tree. It's a tradition in our home.

As long as I don't take too many...

A few days before Santa came, the kids helped me sort out and load up the car with some toys they don't use as much these days for the Children's Justice Center. Jacob kept killing me by referring to it as the "Justice Fun Center" (which is actually a really awesome name). They helped unload everything when we got there, and I hope it helped them appreciate what they have a little bit. Eddie said, "Hey...not my dinosaur shirt....AAwwwww...Ok they can have it." at one point. I wanted it to hurt a little. Jacob doesn't look at all unhappy about giving some toys away.

We had an early Christmas Eve with Grandma and Grandpa Bingham, and the kids were spoiled as usual. I love this shot of Saren's toddler body!

Richard and Beccy were way excited to be in Price.

Saren got into opening presents.

Jacob went bananas.

And Eddie, true to character, hid under the nearest leather jacket.

The boys got some Lego's from Grandma which were a huge hit. Eddie got sick of me taking so long to put his Toy Story set together but he loved when it was complete.

Isn't he so, so CUTE!

Jacob had some Lego anxiety but pushed through it.

Apparently, Richard drank some milk...

And then snapped a photo of his twin sister's arse. OK, Saren's toe in the pocket IS cute and photo worthy, but still, a little weird.

Before bed we read the Christmas Story, and Jacob and Saren acted out a little nativity scene while Eddie hid under the nearest table.

I love being a Mom so much. I have cried lots of times this Christmas out of happiness that Dave and I have these three little sweethearts to share it with. Sorry to end a sentence with a preposition but sometimes it just works.