Sunday, November 30, 2008

what i don't want for Christmas

I'm all for stupid inventions (tortilla warmer anyone) like the George Foreman Grill, those socks with creepy toes in them or even the Magic Bullet. They have their place in this world. But I have to draw the line somewhere. And that line is firmly etched to exclude this stupid blanket. How lazy are we? We can't be bothered with lifting a blanket off our lap, or heaven forbid - wrapping it around us- to walk to the fridge. It must be adhered to our body in some unflattering, awkward way to allow us to be totally unhindered. I guess people don't mind looking like total morons if they are nice and warm. The nurse in me is worried about all unsuspecting grandparents who are given this for Christmas, trip on their Snuggie and break a hip! Furthermore, isn't "snuggie" a term we use to describe underwear getting lodged up into the crack. I'll have to check urban dictionary. I always thought so. Apparently, this "Snuggie" is popular because there is now a knockoff. I got another e-mail ad for the Slanket. Really...the Slanket? Just a little cynicism for your Sunday afternoon.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

good times part 2

Remember my last post, from this morning, bragging about my cute kids? Well, they are still cute but the time for bragging has past! I am more than ready for my almost four year old to be potty trained and, unfortunately, he is not. There is a good chance than in the next month or two I could have three kids in diapers. Three! I'm not complaining about the kids, but to have three in diapers well...that's just a lot of money for Costco and a lot of work for me. Nevertheless, in the ongoing saga of trying to get Jacob to use the toilet, here is our latest adventure.

This week, I could tell Jacob was trying to poop (I won't go into details but some grunting and grabbing of a file cabinet for leverage were involved). Of course I asked him if he wanted to try and use the potty, but he adamently refused and asked me to "go away". Who am I to refuse him his privacy? After I left, Jacob did go into the bathroom to stand next to the toilet and use his pull up. He then took his pullup off and shook out the poop into the toilet and came running in to find me, naked bum and all, to tell me he had pooped! "Where is the poop?" I nervously but hopefully inquired, "In the toilet!" he told me, hardly able to contain his excitement. It was only after we went into the bathroom that I realized how the poop had gotten there. He re-enacted it for me and everything. Not exactly what I was hoping for. I had to tell Jacob "Good job", anyway, because he was so excited and even going near the toilet for him is an accomplishment most days.

My mom keeps saying one day Jacob will just figure it out and he will be potty trained. It will be like magic, she tells me. Well, the magic bodily fluids fairy has yet to visit my home and she is long overdue. Maybe she forgot about our family while she was sprinkling her magic over my neighbors house, whose two year old daughter is potty trained. Or maybe she just couldn't fit us in because she was helping those crazy people out there who sit their six months old on the crapper looking for some Pavlov's dog response to a cold toilet seat. Certainly it must be our turn soon! Walt Disney keeps saying it's the year of a million I'm not giving up hope just yet.

just bragging

Jacob is my cute little inventor. If he can't find something he is looking for, he just makes whatever he needs out of stuff he finds around the house. Baseball bats and baseballs are the most commonly substituted items (a toy hammer and a balloon...a wooden spoon and a pair of folded socks...once a toothbrush and a piece of a chip he found on the floor). I love seeing him use his imagination.

Yesterday, I couldn't help but take a picture of him using his latest homemade invention - a fishing pole. He climbed into Eddie's crib and began fishing out into "the lake". It was pretty cute. I took a picture of his fishing pole close up so I wouldn't forget how he put it all together. He was so proud to show me what he had made. I was impressed with his engineering skills. I can't think of a better use for a Halloween pencil, a straw from one of Dave's giant refillable mugs, some red rope thingy Jacob said he found in my room, and a plastic cell phone. It's actually quite well made and he could cast it over and over again and it stayed together.

Not to be outdone, Eddie said his first sentance..."Thank you Mom". Even if he doesn't smile much for pictures, he is a polite little genius, and looks a little like a cuter version of Zoolander.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

good times

This week, Jacob had a bad day of the pukes - 9 pukes, to be exact, including one in which his face literally was stuffed down in between two couch cushions. (Thanks Dave for cleaning that one up). I got next.

During one quick trip with Jacob to the bathroom to wash vomit off his chest and out of my hair, Eddie decided to take off his diaper, dump out a 3 pound bag of shredded cheddar cheese and sit his bare little parts on top of the cheese pile. I returned to the room with my sick but clean little Jacob, to find my healthy but very dirty little Eddie naked and belly button deep in a pile of cheddar! It must have felt nice and cool, I'm not sure, but Eddie was loving it. He was happily eating up handfuls of cheese from around his body and watching "The Backyardigans". Does anyone else ever feel like leaving one child briefly unattended to clean up one mess turns into an even worse one? It was funny but, seriously....Arggghhh!

The worst part of the dilemna was that cheese is so stinking expensive. I couldn't decide if I should try to salvage some on the top of the pile or if it all had to be thrown out. I reluctantly scooped up a few handfuls that looked clean and replaced them in a bag in the fridge. In the end, the "butt cheese" got thrown away the next morning when I had a little better perspective. I just couldn't eat it or make my kids eat it. There's the expression "Who knows where it's been?", but I it was worth the $8.99 for a clean bag of cheese that hadn't been in contact with toddler swass.

Overall, it was an eventful, tiring, laundrey-filled day but Jacob was feeling good the next morning and none of us had to miss out on any Halloween fun so I consider myself a very lucky mom.