i'm feeling a little regret

I'm in a pickle. I recently ordered some Christmas cards online. It was a relief to get them done, until I started really stressing about the content of the brief, obligatory letter I included. This little note, recapping our year, is being printed right on our card...so it's all or nothing. I can't censor content for the elderly, the holy ones or the easily offended on our Christmas card list. This now has me worried. What I thought was a cute comment about "bodily fluids", now seems an inappropriate reference in poor taste for a Christmas Card. Oh, I need a redo but I'm not going to get it, they are paid for and on their way to my door.

Dave was no help at the time I placed the order..."Whatever honey" was all he said when I asked him if the bodily fluids reference was OK or not. But, a mere hour later he suddenly exclaims, "Great! I guess I can't mail one to my mission President because you had to talk about bodily fluids in our Christmas card!". Thanks a lot honey! This got me thinking of all the other people whose homes I should probably not disgrace with our card. In our extreme narcisism, we ordered a few extra because Dave said, "I can give them to some of my patients". Great! Not anymore. I could cost him his career with my little comment. Also, there are some of my Aunts and Uncles who likely only know me as Lynda's daughter...and are probably not aware of my wicked rhetoric and sarcasm. They will now think of me as a bratty, wise acre.

A hopeful thought crossed my mind that maybe the lettering would be too small for some older people to notice the reference. Or maybe, people won't bother reading the whole note. I'm reaching aren't I? These are the ramblings of a desperate woman, I know. On my blog I can pretty much be myself. No one over 65 years old has ever seen it, so that eliminates most of the people I would worry about offending. I was feeling a little too much creative freedom while I wrote the Christmas card, I guess. It's so hard for me to write just a nice letter...the smirky comments just pour out of me. I can't help it. It feels so disingenuous, until I include a little smut. It's like asking Eddie to walk down the hallway without tripping or running into a wall...can it be done by someone? Yes! Can he do it? Not likely!

So, I apologize if after receiving my card...you find me immature and lacking in tact. You are probably right, but it was bound to come out eventually.