Sunday, June 8, 2008

why this was my first and last yard sale...


So, I went against my inner voice (sorry Oprah) and had a yard sale this week. I've always known yard sales were not my thing, but somehow I kept ignoring that screaming protest in my head long enough to actually plan one. If only I could go back a few weeks and do things differently. So, in case, I ever start considering a yard sale again, here is what I have learned.

The top 10 reasons for not having a yard sale.

10. People who think your bath mats are priced too high (3 for $10.00) will assume you must be the most evil, heinous person on the planet.

9. You will only make $45.00 (or $.36 cents an hour).

8. Some crazy lady will argue with you when you tell her the half-used bag of Costco baby wipes are not for sale.

7. It's going to be 40 degrees outside even if you do it in June.

6. You don't own enough ashtrays to have a real yard sale.

5. You like your friends too much to do a "Multi" family yard sale.

4. Kids from the Price College Stake will come around with sob stories and Dave, the pushover he is, will sell them all your nice stuff for $5 bucks!
3. Your 16 month old will walk around eating price tag stickers off yard sale items. Later, his poop will be a crazy shade of orange.

2. You can't post your classified ad in the Sun Advocate online. Blerg!

1. Do you really want people to know some of the movies/CD's you have bought in the past (i.e., MC Hammer "Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em")?
So, I implore myself and my readers. Do not think your crap is worth any money to other people. Do not think this will be as easy as hauling stuff to the DI, do not think you need $45.00 so badly that you will sell your self respect and dignity to get it.

9 comments:

Amanda said...

Ha ha! Nice Mel. Nice. Just so you know.. That killer candle that I bought from you for a buck melted in my car and became a nice puddle of wax on the front seat. You don't give refunds do you?? Ha ha.. Just kidding!!
Mand

Katy said...

I'd pay top dollar for your crap (especially for an MC Hammer CD) - should have advertised up in Utah County.

Unknown said...

I'd take the tax cut from the IRS for donating the stuff any day. I swear I make a trip to the Goodwill (we don't live in Utah anymore so we can't say "DI" or people think we are crazy.) at least once a month. Where does that crap come from? If I went to the poor part of town, I bet there would be a lot of tall people wearing my old shirts.

tookiecramer said...

Amanda, there are no refunds, all sales are final sucker!

Lynette said...

You should have consulted me...remember my one yard sale experience?! Lady trips over the sidewalk falls onto my property and collects from our homeowners insurance! That one was definitely worth my money!

tookiecramer said...

Lynette, your yard sale officially sucked more than mine.

petie said...

Apparently yard sales are all the rage here in Oregon. I can't condone it. I have enough garbage to sort through, thank you very much. It's the same reason I can't really stand department stores or TJ Maxx/Ross, though I love them in theory -- I'm sure there's some terrific find in there for $2, but if I have to spend 7 hours finding it, I'm sure my time is worth more than I just saved. Well, I'm not sure of it, but that's what I tell myself. Also, extreme frugality gives me hives.

Lori said...

Excellent yard sale advice! The only thing worse than an actual yard sale is the home that appears to be advertising one(i.e. a collection of crap in the front yard) & really are not! I see a lot of that around here.

Rass said...

Just wanted to know if you want to do a yard sale with us next weekend? PLEASE? If you provide the yard I will bring the ashtrays. Erik has finally kicked the habit.