true story

Jacob has hit the age of wonder - and by that I mean he is interested in boobies. In the last month, he has asked me on several occassions "Mommy, what those"? After I tell him, he has made one of the following requests...

"Mommy, want to feel them"

"Mommy, want to tickle them"

and

"Mommy, want to see them"

After the last request I told Jacob, "No, buddy you've seen them before"

Jacob "Please" - in his most adorable beggar voice

Me "They are just like Daddy's and yours and Eddie's but they are just bigger on girls"

Jacob "Oh man!"

About an hour later, I was in the shower and I heard the bathroom door open. Then I heard Jacob say "Mommy, it's just me". (I had figured)

He then opened the door to "say hello" and ask what I was doing. Let's just say that during our little chat Jacob didn't make a whole lot of eye contact with me. Time to start locking the bathroom door.

PS: I know I am a horrible mother for sharing this story and that Jacob will temporarily hate me for it one day, I'm OK with that.

things that made me laugh this week

1. This crazy picture and caption from our local newspaper "The Sun Advocate". Someone please help me figure this out. I kept looking for an accompanying article like, "New research shows animal emotions mirror our own" or "Local cat has a bad day", but nothing! This was just in there to be in there. What the...? Apparently, I could be a newspaper editor, because I could fill 6 inches of empty publishing space with something at least this interesting. To me, this just looks like an ugly cat. Or maybe a fly just flew up it's nose? Maybe it has rabies, or is about to sneeze? I don't know. But I'm sure glad it made the Thursday edition.

2. My new neighbor mowing his lawn with his "riding lawn mower". Look again. Yes, that's right. This was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. You can't tell but he was going mach 60 around the corners, grass blades were flying everywhere and the lawn mower would wheeley and nearly tip over on the turns. Loved it, loved it, loved it.

PS: I know how things work in this small town and I want to preemptively apologize if you are related to or personally know my new neighbor or an editor at the Sun Advocate.

oh no he didn't...

This Monday, I put Dave in charge of the Family Home Evening Lesson (a little reluctantly) but I shouldn't have been worried. He gave a great little lesson about how we should love and accept everyone no matter what they look like or if they seem different than us. This point was driven home with a stirring movie clip from "Teen Wolf". My children, as expected, were shocked and repulsed when Scott Howard turned into a werewolf in the middle of a high school basketball game. Jacob even plugged his ears which means he was a little scared. But the boys were cheering Michael J. Fox on and chanting "Wolf, Wolf" along with the rest of the kids from Beacon High School by the end of the movie. Jacob asked for "More wolf please" as soon as the lesson was over. It was a wonderful night for our family.

i'm back...

As a follow up to my last entry and in the mother of all unhappy, anticlimactic endings...our home sale fell through at the 11th hour, literally. And I wrote that stinking poem and everything! So, sadly, we did move out of our happy, little home only to watch it sit empty whilst we pay RENT. Fortunately and thankfully, we have the hottest (and cheapest) little house in Westwood, and we are now in our 3rd contract and scheduled to close within a month or so. Phew! We were just getting ready to start moving back home. Let's hope this third time is the charm. We are not loving the idea of having a mortgage loan, a construction loan and rent in the same month. At least, for now, my ulcer will have time to heal and Dave can take some time off from his daily nervous break downs. Did I mention we are never going to move again?

It has all been a bit confusing for my kids. A few times a day, although less frequently than a week ago, Jacob will look at me and ask "Mommy, where are we?". I tell him we are at our house in Spring Glen, and he says "Ohhhh!" as if now it makes perfect sense. Eddie is very happy here because there are no child proof cupboards or drawers in the house. And seeing as how I don't really feel at liberty to screw latches into the cabinetry that's not going to change any time soon. Eddie can now easily amuse himself with unlimited access to my makeup and, even more fun, household cleaning supplies.

In other, non house related news, Jacob started preschool at Creekview and he loves it. I love dropping him off for a few hours of guilt free child socializing, cognitive stimulation and school lunch. He has been getting sick of being home anyway. Especially now that we don't have our big back yard with our two dogs to provide endless hours of entertainment, I have really been getting on Jacob's nerves. He has been telling me in his cute little, sweet voice "Mommy, go away!". And I can't even be mad at him because I am bored of myself too. Why is it so hard to feel productive when you are renting a house? I miss my yard work and gardening and lists of repairs and touch up painting and organizing of the garage and most importantly my TV. Did I mention, dish network cannot hook up our TV until September 16th? And we will have lived here for over a month by then! Crazy, is this South America, or the North Pole, or Herriman? I didn't realize how hard it was to get a technician to drive 4 miles outside of Price. I would probably pay the aforementioned technician hundreds of dollars in tips if they could come, say, before Prison Break is on next. Alas, I am forced to watch crappy internet TV but at least I know that Sarah is indeed alive. This ends my long blogging drought. I hope I'll have time to write again soon!