Note - If you don't watch "The Bachelor" - you will be confused and not care about this blog.
I am now a dumber and more shallow person for the watching, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it into Heaven anymore, but I could not peel my eyes off the TV during the Bachelor's latest "After the Final Rose". Holy crap! It was truly a feast for the emotionally depraved! Indeed, it was a gory, bloodfest of a train wreck that you couldn't look away from. But why would you want to? Seriously! At one point, it felt like Christmas morning - only one commercial break before we get to walk out into the Living Room to see what Santa brought. A mere few minutes later, I had to literally run away from the TV while nervously laughing to physically get as far from the shame as possible. What besides reality TV can make you feel all that in one hour (OK - it was 3 hours)? And I thought Deanna (barf) coming back would be the most exciting moment of the night. Chris Harrison (I'm ashamed to admit I knew his name without relying on google or abc.com) really earned his money this week, sitting next to the carnage, and then later next to the fornicators (who, by the way, said they were going to take it slow...say maybe go out for coffee - oh please - the green room backstage was converted into a "Fantasy Suite" before taping wrapped!). As a sidenote, how many times can the words "connection" and "amazing" be said in 3 hours? The answer is a lot! I hope everyone else enjoyed this show/became deeply offended by it as much as I did. It was made even better/worse by Dave's constant commentary (which was mostly dirty and sometimes inappropriate but always funny). I can only be thankful I was out of my influenza induced fog in time to see this mess unfold. This has been my parenthesis filled rant. Now I can sleep.
5 comments:
I thought this 3 hours of television was fantastic!!! I know there's going to be a lot of Bachelor backlash, and people saying they're never going to watch it again, but I loved every minute that I didn't fast-forward through with my Tivo remote! It was awkward and totally staged and. . .really the most dramatic rose ceremony ever. And there will be people who are sure to complain about how it wasn't real. Do I really care that Jason Mesnick find the woman he can spend the rest of his life with, so i can be subjected to repeated updates on his life/relationship ala Ryan and Trista? NO! The Bachelor SO put on a good show tonight, and that's all I need from my reality television. Hope they enjoyed the green room/fantasy suite!
I could not stop laughing through it all. I kept trying to come up with ways they could make it even more dramatic like say one of them pulling a knife and stabbing him and adding Psycho music to the Bachelor score. Aaron (who is a closet watcher and will deny he watches if you ask) now has a crush on Melissa because she called Jason a b******. He respects that you know. I do not know how there will ever be a more dramatic rose ceremony ever again. Short of my previous suggestion.
HA! I had to comment, this killed me (although I wasn't surprised after my mom's repeated updates throughout the week of the gossip she found on the web). Nancy came over and watched with me, uttered a few swears and as she was walking out the door said, "I just hope Melissa is okay..." Ha ha. I too enjoyed the bastard bit :)
I would love to hear Nancy dropping a few swears. That is classic - it must run in the family.
I missed the whole season AGAIN. Please take me step by step through EVERYTHING and don't leave anything out. I need names, who was making out, EVERYTHING.
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