Ho ho ho...

This blog has been edited for content...topics that were deliberately excluded from this post to make our Christmas memories more jolly are as follows:

1) Mom being on call and having non stop phone and house calls on Christmas day.
2) Dad's near hospitalization for pneumonia.
3) Vomit palooza in Grandma Bingham's master bath.
4) 104 degree fevers during the night.
5) Eddie drinking the water in Grandma Nelson's denture cup and then throwing the "rest" in the garbage.


Having said that...

Christmas vacation this year has been lovely. Honest it was! We had a nice FHE Christmas week and made little paper angels for the tree where we each wrote down something we would work on to be better. I said I would be patient all the time! Jacob wrote that he would share. We voted on Eddie's behalf and said that he would not yell. Saren would smile a lot. Done. Dave wrote...I will quote the angel he made directly "Daddy...stop talking nasty, no yelling, a lot of patience, mind out of gutter". It was a moving little activity.

Later in the week, we had a fun visit with Aunt Annie, who is here every weekend, and Aunt Merrilyn, who is visiting from North Carolina. My kids love their aunts, especially these two.

Christmas Eve we took a picture of Eddie's 2 year old mustache with this lovely Christmas backdrop.

I wondered if I would need to put Saren's hair in some kind of tail before Christmas morning pictures. I did.

Christmas morning, Jacob took a lot of prompting to get out of bed before he remembered what day it was. Then we did a lot of this....

(opening presents)

And a lot of this...

(posing by our loot).

Santa brought a lot of things, but most beloved was a package of fruit snacks (which Mom never buys) and had the kids in a complete frenzy of joy. Eddie has never posed so nicely for a picture.

And, after tucking the kids in bed Christmas night, I was up late making a Spiderman birthday cake. Birthdays are a Christmas tradition in our family too. Merry Christmas!

i'm feeling a little regret

I'm in a pickle. I recently ordered some Christmas cards online. It was a relief to get them done, until I started really stressing about the content of the brief, obligatory letter I included. This little note, recapping our year, is being printed right on our card...so it's all or nothing. I can't censor content for the elderly, the holy ones or the easily offended on our Christmas card list. This now has me worried. What I thought was a cute comment about "bodily fluids", now seems an inappropriate reference in poor taste for a Christmas Card. Oh, I need a redo but I'm not going to get it, they are paid for and on their way to my door.

Dave was no help at the time I placed the order..."Whatever honey" was all he said when I asked him if the bodily fluids reference was OK or not. But, a mere hour later he suddenly exclaims, "Great! I guess I can't mail one to my mission President because you had to talk about bodily fluids in our Christmas card!". Thanks a lot honey! This got me thinking of all the other people whose homes I should probably not disgrace with our card. In our extreme narcisism, we ordered a few extra because Dave said, "I can give them to some of my patients". Great! Not anymore. I could cost him his career with my little comment. Also, there are some of my Aunts and Uncles who likely only know me as Lynda's daughter...and are probably not aware of my wicked rhetoric and sarcasm. They will now think of me as a bratty, wise acre.

A hopeful thought crossed my mind that maybe the lettering would be too small for some older people to notice the reference. Or maybe, people won't bother reading the whole note. I'm reaching aren't I? These are the ramblings of a desperate woman, I know. On my blog I can pretty much be myself. No one over 65 years old has ever seen it, so that eliminates most of the people I would worry about offending. I was feeling a little too much creative freedom while I wrote the Christmas card, I guess. It's so hard for me to write just a nice letter...the smirky comments just pour out of me. I can't help it. It feels so disingenuous, until I include a little smut. It's like asking Eddie to walk down the hallway without tripping or running into a wall...can it be done by someone? Yes! Can he do it? Not likely!

So, I apologize if after receiving my card...you find me immature and lacking in tact. You are probably right, but it was bound to come out eventually.

what we've been up to...

Me....I've been making these while fighting an ugly, epic, holy war with a not-to-be-named neighbor about who has the rights to "pretzel sticks" in our neighborhood gift exchange. Kelly, these are all yours for 2010 and the rest of eternity. I never want to "make" a pretzel stick again and I think yours were prettier anyway. I should never have tried to dethrone the queen (notice the inferred apology tainted with a subtle diss by not capitalizing "the Queen"). It's been fun. But next year, it's that crappy chex mix with powdered sugar. Anyone want to fight me for that?


Dave...wasting time on facebook. Just kidding honey...he has been doing lots of online shopping. Some of it even for other people, apparently. I am under strict orders to not look at e-mails from Amazon.


Jacob...begging for time on Dad's iPod...

and being cute in his Preschool Christmas program.

Edison....being naughty, being ornery, being funny (in that order) and playing with every item in the house that is not a toy, like the kitchen fausett.

Who me?


Saren....teething (she finally broke through one of those mean top front teeth)

...acting like a big kid. This girl is a toy junkie. It kills me to watch her follow the boys around the house and play like them.

And, most imortantly...eating like a human. Saren is nearly one, so I am officially letting her have all that stuff babies can't have and want so desperately. She is finally getting her hands on ....peanut butter, honey, chocolate, eggs, citrus and nuts (not all in the same meal) and she is pretty amped about it.

a fly on my wall

These are things that could have actually been overheard in my house today...

Eddie - "I yike peanut sammich"!
Me - "OK"
Eddie - "With big, big honey on it"
Me - "OK, you want a peanut butter sandwich with honey?"
Eddie - "All the time, Mom....All the time"!

And, during an hour long wrestling/tackle football session between Eddie and Jacob...

Jacob - "You ready to feel the wrath, Eddie?"

my cup runneth over...

No matter how nice of a day it was, Thanksgiving Thursday couldn't help but be outdone by our Saturday, when we went to the Salt Lake Temple and had Saren sealed to our family. It was a wonderful day and Saren was so happy and darling and full of smiles and charm (as she usually is). It was a sweet, sweet experience and I have little snapshots in my head of many beautiful moments that I hope my forgetful brain will never lose. Jacob and Edison were so excited and knew what a special thing it was to be there. I hope their little minds can remember too.

High Five! I got sealed today!

Handsome big brothers!



Eddie kept saying "It's a Castle!" as we started walking up towards the temple grounds.

Our three little miracles...

Aunt Lynette says she has never laughed so hard on the temple grounds...

Wait for it....

And finally, I can't help myself...a little love note to my baby girl.

Baby Saren, this is your family! You are stuck with us now. We love you so much! I don't know if you will ever have a baby as darling and happy and good natured as you, because you really are one in a million...but I hope someday you get a little glimpse of the joy you have brought to me, your Dad and your brothers. You are the little cherry blessing on top of my blessing sundae. We could never have hoped for a more loving, sweet girl who is so full of life and enthusiasm, and we couldn't possibly be more in love with you. You are a beautiful, radiant child of God and I couldn't be more proud and blessed to be your Mommy. We are all so thankful you found your way into our home.

finally final!

Today we finalized Saren's adoption! What we have known to be right and true and perfect for 10 months and 23 days is now right and true and perfect in the Seventh District Court! It is a special thing to hear what it means to be someone's parent and swear an oath in court to fulfill those obligations. Every parent should get this opportunity...to tell the world that you are and will always be responsible for and available to your child, in every way necessary and in every respect is a very sweet thing.

We will always be grateful to Bill Heder, our awesome Attorney, who has led us through many an adoption crag and mire without breaking a sweat and with total reassurance and confidence. He is worth every penny!

And to Judge Douglass B. Thomas, who after pronouncing Saren's adoption as final, pulled a little, stuffed "Wilbur" out from behind his bench and said affectionately..."This is for you baby!". What a sweet public servant.

And, today, I can't help but love, even a little more, our birth parents, who made this all possible. I know, in my heart, that God will most certainly reward them richly someday as I could never adequately express what it is they have meant to our family.

And, of course, I thank my Heavenly Father, who brought everyone together...and made a family where there was once just David and myself and a lot of hope. We are so grateful!

visions of sugarplums

Last night, I had so many laughs while the boys carefully searched through a Walmart Christmas toy ad. When Jacob turned a page to reveal a load of Star Wars paraphernalia, Eddie was so excited...all he could come up with was "Oh....Come on! Come on guys!". Other things Eddie repeated over and over were "Hmmmm...yet's see", "You gotta see dis!" and "What you yike Mom?". Jacob was torn between a hot wheel race track and a dinosaur tower....but he woke me up this morning for help writing a note to Santa, so he must have made his decision.

The biggest crack up was when Eddie pointed to this picture.

Eddie -"What that?"

Me - "It's a gorilla!"

Eddie - "No, that's a boy-rilla"

So funny. He went to bed with his little book and Jacob asked me for it first thing this morning.

This Christmas is going to be so much fun! I remember wanting to be a mom so much and how this time of year just doesn't have the same magic without kids. I'm so thankful for these little sweeties.

can you guess?

the windowsill
my couch
Saren's hands
Saren's left foot
a wicker basket
four bathroom towels
shower curtain
tile floor
The toilet seat
Eddie's feet
Eddie's hands
Under the computer desk
The flush lever
the bathrug
Down the hallway
the shower curtain
A box of wet wipes

These are the places Eddie managed cover in poo while I was making my bed this morning, 10 minutes before the neighborhood preschool arrived..."I keen it myseff!" was his only defense.

halloween wrap up

Halloween is over! Yeah! It is one of my favorite times of year...but seriously...how many parties are possible to squeeze into three days? Seven....yep. That was difficult what with all the peeing going on in Eddie's costume. But we survived. The kids had lots of fun and that is all that really matters. Dave and I had a great time at a party with friends. We dressed up as a "Biggest Loser" contestant and Jillan. Really, I just wanted an excuse to dress like a hoochie. No muscles...I know. It was a little bit of a stretch. My eyebrows were clearly lacking as well.

Why the wig? Well wigs are just funny. You can't help but laugh to see someone you love in a ridiculous wig. It's humor on the basest of levels...like seeing someone get hit in the yoo-hoo's or trip violently down the stairs. Good memories.

And speaking of violence...my boys dressed up as "Army Guys" this year. They were very cute in uniforms made by Grandma B. Jacob was especially proud, and for the week leading up to Halloween night, he would do anything I asked it I pretended to be his commanding officer. "Do not dishcarge that firarm in the vicinity of the sleeping baby cadet! Move it upstairs doubletime soldier and pick up your blocks in an orderly fashion!" and "Keep your sandwich in the mess hall or I will send you to the General for latrine duty so fast it will make your head spin!". You get the idea. He would salute me and do his best not to smile. Even with the perks, I'm glad it's over...I had used all my good stuff up by Thursday.

It was an unfortunate serious of bad timing and bad moods that led me to not really get a good picture of Eddie this year...but these paint an accurate picture of the holiday. The highlight was teaching Edison to say "trick or treat" which Eddie translated into "freakin' treat!" I loved that.

Here he is eating a 1 pound can of cashews....a choice I would come to regret at least 6 times the next day.
And Saren was an adorable little flower/fairy/elf/Anne Geddes model (I'm not sure exactly which), but thanks to Lori for the cute costume. She said her first word on Friday night... "Candy" as clear as day and I think Halloween should get the credit.

And who can forget these guys...they're back!!! Some genius on the city council decided not to wrap their legs around the trees on main street this year (no doubt thanks to my hard hitting, expose on the "downtown humpers" from last year)... http://tookiecramer.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html

I think this use was much less creepy.
Happy Halloween everybody...bring on Thanksgiving!

catching up...

SUMMARY...

I am a mom who is falling behind...in everything.
Jacob had his first day of Preschool (for the second time).
He looked really cute.
Eddie was sad, he wanted to go to.
Jacob was stoked.
Here are some pics.

generic mom toilet training blog post part 2

I hate to write one of those posts...but I am a mommy. So this is news worthy to me.

Jacob has had a few "accidents" since school started. This was understandable, but they were getting more frequent and I felt I had to try and sort things out with him.

Me - Buddy, did you have another accident?
Jacob - Yes.
Me - What happened?
Jacob - I don't know.
Me - What can Mommy do to help? How can we make sure you make it to the potty next time?
Jacob - Mom.........just clean it up.

And so I did.

On to Edison. He is showing some interest in all things potty. We have been reading a potty book, many times a day which he loves, primarily because I say things like poop and pee pee and he laughs. At the end, the little boy in the book says..."I'm a big boy now! Do you want to be a big boy like me?" Eddie initally answered..."Yes!". But soon found out that this response would lead to mom requesting he try to pee in the potty, which he doesn't want to do. Now when the little boy asks..."Do you want to be a big boy like me?", Eddie politely declines, "No thanks, just Jacob".

And so he is not a big boy.

Today, while taking a call from my sweet Aunt about my ailing Grandma, Eddie created the worst poop mess of all time. It was the stuff of legends really. I'm sure he will be high fiving the other boys in nursery next Sunday. I'll explain. The boys were playing outside, while I was on the phone.

After a minute, Jacob came inside, tapped my shoulder and announced...
"Mom there is poop on the patio"
What????
"Whose poop?"
"Eddie's!"

I walked outside to see Eddie naked from the waist down, diaper discarded and a large pile of crap on the patio. (Sorry if you find this disgusting, but I am nurse so I can write this while eating a Baby Ruth). Anyway, I told the boys I would be out in a minute to take care of "it", walked inside to finish my kind of urgent phone call and returned to the patio. Well, let's just say that 4 minutes was way too long to leave Eddie alone with his poop. He had attempted to clean it up. "I keen it myseff!" I'm sure he has seen Dave scoop up dog poop with a shovel. Well, there was no shovel to be found but Eddie did find a plastic rake and tried unsuccessfully to rake up the crap. You can imagine what this did. He then tried a plastic lobster claw. You squeeze the handle and two giant lobster claws close to pick up sand, playground bark, etc. Let's just say the lobster claw was never intended to transfer solid human waste. You can imagine what this did.

Eddie was quite thrilled to have me outside, cleaning up after him for such a long time. He kept walking over, giggling and pointing at the mess saying "poop in my pants". I tried to ask him why he removed his diaper and made such a mess...the only answer Eddie could come up with was "I yike ice cweam sammiches!" There was poop on the stucco of the house, all over the concrete, and all over the aforementioned "cleaning" objects. It was nothing that a half box of wet wipes and a pressure washer couldn't handle. Everytime I wanted to get mad at him for this mess, I would look up to see him going down the playground slide commando...and saying "Ouch" at the bottom. What else could I do but laugh. Besides, how can I get too mad at this little, mischevious face?


And so I had to write this post!

oh crap...

Do you want the good news or bad news first? OK. The good news is...I got to find out exactly what would happen if Dave backed the Tahoe over my purse. The bad news is...one more digital camera down the crapper. The last one, a Polaroid, died of drowning...by honey (Eddie was the executioner and I'm pretty sure Jacob had complicity). Anyway, our new, little camera had only been in the family for a couple of months tops!

Dave blames me completely for leaving my purse on the garage floor. I can see his point. How would he have known to check behind the tires for my beautiful, white leather purse with red lining? Someone needs to start a foundation, or an awareness campaign...this could happen to you!

My first thought on seeing my squished purse was for the health of my iPOD. Thankfully, it survived. Cell phone...still working. Digital camera...not so much. Bottle of perfume...crushed to smithereens (whatever those are)! Now all of my tithing checks, cash and receipts smell citrusy, free-spirited and playful. I hope the Ward Clerk doesn't think I'm being flirtatious.

it's ladies night - oh what a night....

I went on a girl's weekend. Woo-hoo! Where else can you share dirty jokes with the women in the Primary Presidency? I'm kidding...there were only few dirty jokes (thanks to Laurie), but mostly lots of eating, shopping and cracking up at stuff no one else would think is funny.

Without revealing too much, these are some things I learned.

1) Debra may possibly be the next "Octomom"

2) An enchilada is exacty the same as a quesadilla, just ask "Topher".

3) Not all prophecys made in the shower come true.

4) No one has any excuse to pee on a bobsled run.

5) As much as we all want to get away, we love to talk about our kids.

6) Never call anyone, right after church on Sunday.

7) Front porch stick witches were sooooo 2008.

8) Pink hair extensions make you pass for much younger.

9) I'm really short.

It was a lot of fun and it is nice to get a little break sometimes. I love hanging out with my girlfriends! And just so I didn't feel too relaxed - my vomiting family was waiting for me at home along with a ready to assemble swingset for my labor day enjoyment.

some pictures I love...

I love that time of day when my lovebugs are all clean and shiny and ready for bed...

Cutting up these cucmbers with plastic knives for a salad actually entertained my boys for a good 45 minutes. It was heaven! Until Eddie started putting lettuce in his hair and yelling "Look my hat!".

The most perfectly placed barrel toy ever...